Thursday, March 31, 2011

Good Deal

I love me some Groupon. It is the only reason I'm on my way to becoming a professional kickboxer, the reason I finally decided to go rent kayaks and float along the lake that I live 20 yards from, and a life saver when it comes to trying new restaurants I would not have otherwise considered. Groupons are tops, in my book.

There are limits, though. In my life, there are a few things I'd prefer NOT to use a coupon for. Things that you shouldn't skimp on. One of those services is Brazilian waxing. CrowdCut (basically Groupon Lite) sent me this "deal" today. Thanks, but no thanks, CrowdCut. I figure that if I EVER were to consider such a, uh, delicate and intimate procedure, I'd like to think I wouldn't make the decision based on a 56% discount. This is up there with the time they sent out a coupon for discounted Lasik eye surgery. Say whaaaaaa? Who uses a COUPON for SURGERY? That just, no, I think, but if, maybe when, no. Just No. That's just not right.

I used to feel utter humiliation at the mere thought of - gasp - using a coupon. What do I look like, a homeless person?! When I was younger, my sister Padrin would take me shopping, and I shuddered at the point in the trip when she'd inevitably drag me to the Marshall's in the basement of Southdale Mall. Discount shopping? In EDINA?! What if some popular rich girl from my 6th grade class saw me walking into Marshall's instead of J.Crew? I'd never live it down. I had a REPUTATION to uphold, people. And Marshall's didn't fit into my carefully crafted aura of Spoiled Brat.

These days, I obvs love Marshall's and pretty much anything that includes the words "BUY ONE GET ONE FREE" (especially when it relates to beer). Discount shopping is now an art form. (Have you ever seen the show Extreme Couponing?! Okay, personally I haven't, but I get the premise - people obsessed with coupons to the point where they get $600 worth of groceries for $6.) Hence, my appreciation for programs like Groupon.

But again, I've got my limits. I don't go for those things that are like "Free 16 oz bottle of hair spray with purchase of 16 hairbrushes". Those are just silly. And despite a deep discount on Yoplait yogurt at the grocery store, I still opt for my pricier and deliciousier Chobani yogurt. Because money can't buy happiness when it comes to yogurt.

My friend Kim has this handy dandy little mini-accordian binder thingy that she keeps in her purse. Inside, she keeps a bunch of organized coupons that she will likely use that week. I loved that idea. It was all so neat and tidy and nerdy and cost-effective. I tried copying her for like a week, but ended up with purse full of loose coupons for everything from mouthwash (which I don't use) to Jack's pizzas (which I only buy at 1 a.m. on Saturday nights) to free underwear at Victoria's Secret. Inevitably, they'd all expire or annoy me so thoroughly that I'd just crumple them up and toss 'em in the garbage. Literally throwing money away.

That's why Groupon rules. No waste, no problem. And usually I love convenient little deals sent to my email. But that Brazilian wax (and Lasik) deal really threw me for a loop. Some things just shouldn't discounted. When it comes to that kind of stuff, I'll gladly pay full price if only to give me the peace of mind that I will emerge from said service with full eye sight and no bacterial diseases. And can you really put a price on that?

(Love this song. Hate this video. Skip to 2:30 and commence rocking out.)

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