Sunday, September 12, 2010

Iowa: The Land of Opportunity (And Headaches)

So tired. So very very tired. What an awesome weekend though! I was in Iowa City this weekend with my girl friends for the Hawkeye football game and, though my body angrily disagrees with me, it was like no time had passed. It was just like the good ol‘ college days again. Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. We hit up the same tailgates, the same bars, and ran in to lots of great friends we haven’t seen in awhile. But yeah, my body thinks I’ve over-exerted myself. It wants me to open an account with AARP, not a tab at the bar.

You know what’s awesome about Iowa City? Everything. I love that place. The momentum of the city is contagious. It’s Iowa, so everything runs a little bit slower. Everyone is a little more relaxed. And the gas is super cheap there. Maybe it’s because the corn for ethanol is like, everywhere.

Okay, so after spending a total of 9 hours in car by myself this weekend, I’ve discovered quite a bit about myself. One - turns out, I’m a terrible singer. I always thought I was pretty good. I had a mix of songs that I belted out for about 15 minutes before thinking “Wow, I really can’t listen to myself anymore”. So, I turned off the music and just thought about life. Which brought up discovery number two. I am pretty good company. During the silent drive, I made myself laugh exactly 6 times. And at one point, I laughed out loud during the little internal stand-up act I had going on about what it would be like to have a conversation with a squirrel. Okay, on paper that is definitely not funny. But you should have heard the squirrel’s voice. Hilarious.

Finally, I realized that I love driving. I love it. I definitely don’t get to do it a lot, and road trips are fun. Even when you’re by yourself. I love cruise control. I love random talk radio stations talking about corn prices and the plights of farmers. I love playing the Alphabet Game. This weekend, I won every single time I played.

But I’m really tired, you guys. All that fun and debauchery wore me out. My calves hurt from standing on an incline at the Magic Bus tailgate for hours and from wearing extremely high heels all night. My liver is considering submitting its Two Week notice. And for some reason, my right ear is really sore. My hands are covered in stamps from various bars, and my hair is just, well, ugh. I’m a hot mess. Were all my Sundays like this in college? Probably. Did it ever stop me? Probably not.

Well, thanks for the memories, Iowa. Thanks for letting me crash at your place, Kelly. Thanks for making the road trip, Madeline and Freda. And thanks to all the fine people at the Magic Bus and the Sports Column for making a girl feel like she never left the immaturity and irresponsibility of college. I’ll see you all again in a few weeks. I hope you’re ready. I hope I’m ready. But now, back in real life, I’ll be working on my squirrel stand-up act. Trust me, guys, it’s gonna be great.

Anyway, how was your weekend??


Grandmaman said...

Pharon, I love you! Today at the beach it is gray and gloomy, but your really funny blog cheered me up no end! Thanx!

Anonymous said...

hmmm - the alphabet game. Do you set any rules about words that begin with "X" before you start or when you get to the letter "X"?
"Q" used to be hard before the Quiznos came along.
Last week when I was playing that game on a road trip by myself - I actually found myself tailgating (not YOUR kind of tailgating!) an Xterra not wanting to lose sight of it - and I was only on the letter M. I am pretty rigid with the rules - even when I am by myself - seeing a word BEFORE you get to the letter does not count - EVER!

Anonymous said...

hmmm - maybe I am too rigid with the rules - I just checked out the "tips for playing"

"For tougher letters, such as "Z" or "X," you may alter the rules so that the word doesn't need to start with the letter, just contain it in the word."

Actually I never have much problem with "Z" - always a construction ZONE going on somewhere! Or plenty of roadside Farmstands selling ZUCCHINI!

cindi said...

Great blog Pharon.....You must enjoy being with yourself ! You are hysterical !