Tuesday, September 21, 2010

False Alarm, Tony Danza. Continue to Maintain Your Distance

One of the most commonly misheard lyrics is Elton John's Tiny Dancer, when people sing “Hold me closer, Tony Danza…”. Well, years ago, I was sitting in a car with my friend Ally and singing the words to that very same song. Only I was singing ”Hold me close, I’m tired o’ daaaancin’”. Ally almost drove into a tree because she was laughing so hard. Between gasps for air, and with tears in her eyes, she laughed, “Pharon, it’s the NAME OF THE SONG!” Well, color me embarrassed.

I’m sort of known for picking up lyrics to songs at a freakishly fast rate. I can hear a song once and, usually, sing along with 90% of the song the next time I hear it. It's a gift. However, in my haste, I’ll scoot over a particular line I don’t know and mumble along. The problem is, most of the time I mess up the words, it’s actually the Title Of The Song. How can I pick up everything BESIDES the one thing a song explicitly gives us? Maybe I overthink the lyrics? Maybe I'm not actually LISTENING to the lyrics? I don't know.

For instance, today, I was singing along with a song by Vampire Weekend called Horchata. Until extremely recently (read: Today), I was singing the first line of the song as “In December, drinkin’ Hot Chowdahhh”. The real lyrics are “In December, drinkin’ Horchata”. Yeah. The NAME OF THE SONG is the part I got wrong. Facepalm.

More Proof Of this Pathetic Pattern:
Artist: Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey
Pharon’s Lyrics: Once We Dance
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: One Sweet Day

Artist: Spin Doctors
Pharon’s Lyrics: One shoe, Prince will sleep before you
Actual Lyrics: One, Two Princes Kneel Before You
Title of Song: Two Princes

Artist: Prince
Pharon’s Lyrics: EIFFEL, DEIFFEL….DOO!!
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: I would…die 4…U.

I know I’m not alone. There’s a whole website dedicated to misheard lyrics. There are zillions of them, and most are hilarious. But something about the fact that I just can’t comprehend that the SONG TITLE will, most likely, appear IN THE SONG confounds me. Does not compute. No comprende. Error 404-File or Directory Not Found.

Well, thank God for the internet and You Tube. Because of these technological advances, I can watch most song videos after someone has helpfully included the lyrics in the video. I’ll never be wrong again! Unless it's Sting (thanks Family Guy).

What about you? What are some of lyrics you never got quite right? I promise not to laugh. Hard. They can't be worse than Eiffel Deiffel Doo.


8 comments:

grandmaman said...

Instead of singing "When I grow to old to dream" my sister and I (aged 6 and 7) used to sing "When I go to 'Autel Dream'. I have yet been unable to locate Autel Dream!

Liz @ Olive Juice said...

This is my favorite talent of yours! I remember sitting in your room in high school trying to learn all of the words to "Hook" by Blues Traveler. Haha.

grandmaman said...

How about I call my beach house 'Autel Dream' That way my search will be over!

rebecca said...

The classic Queen song, "You're My Best Friend" jacked up as "You're My BEDSPREAD". How/why would Freddie Mercury and the boys ever write a song about their bedding?!?

Pharon said...

Rebecca - You are my kindred spirit. This is an awesome example of title confusion. I love it. Whenever I hear this song from now on, I will sing, loudly and proudly, "You're my bedspread". Yes, this is very very good. :)

Rebecca said...

When we were kids, my brother mixed up the Glen Campbell song, "Rhinestone Cowboy". (Yes, Glen Campbell. On 8-Track Player.) The real lyrics are '..and offers comin' over the phone...'. He was belting out, '...and WAFFLES comin' over the phone...'. Must run in the family!

Madeline said...

you're right Pharon..this does point directly to the classic example of "Black horse run!" instead of "Black hole sun!"
My most recent was thinking the Iyaz song "replay" included "It's like my eyeball's stuck on replay"...which made a lot more sense when someone told me it was "Ipod" not "eyeball"

cindi said...

ok...Steve knows a zillion of MISHEARD LYRICS,,,cept' most of them are filthy military college ones that were made up by filthy cadets.