Well, I guess I'm livin' the single life this weekend. I dropped Geo off at the airport tonight after work and he's on a plane right now, off to visit his bro in Alabama. Honestly? I got a wee bit verklempt as I sent him off. Yes, yes, that's right. This stoic blogger bid her man farewell and shed a couple tears on the car ride home. Sue me. He used to travel allllll the time when he was playing on an Elite ultimate Frisbee team, so I spent most weekends kickin' it with my friends and doing my own thing. I was used to it. But now I'm all, I don't know, NOT used to it, so I was a little surprised at my own emotions.
But he's only gone until Sunday, which leaves me man-less for a whole three nights and 2 1/2 days. So what did I do when I got home from the airport? I slapped on MY favorite - and Geo's LEAST favorite - bedazzled Vikings sweatpants and made the kind of dinner that would make a skunk blush. Yay! This weekend, I plan on living it up. And after living with Geo for the past 3 years, I'm going to try and take advantage of this "me time".
* Sweatpants. All the time. The reason this is different from any regular Sweatpant Day is that I can wear the ugly, gnarly ones that Geo usually tries to hide in garbage cans.
* There will be NO ESPN in this house at any point. No sports all weekend. No basketball, no golf, no bowling, no poker. Nope. None of it.
* I'll have the XBox all to myself. This is weird because I usually have NO desire to play XBox. But Kim and I put our heads together and discovered that I have a huge living room, but nothing to do in it. Meanwhile, KIM has an XBox Kinect, but not enough room in her house to play it. So Kim and I will be dancing our butts off in my living room all day on Saturday without any interruptions by someone wanting to play "one quick game of C.O.D."
* Clay mud masks. I love these. When my old roommate Nick lived with us, he had a dog Payton. One day I came downstairs with the mud mask on, and the dog straight FLIPPED out and started going all nutso and trying to bite off my face. Geo has a similar reaction.
* I'm thinking I'm going to turn Geo's "office" into more of a "personal spa room" while he's gone. You know, move his desk into the hallway and replace it with a comfy chair and a foot bath, and have an adorable little table stacked with all my issues of Vogue next to the Nail Polish Basket.
* Three words: Hygiene May Suffer.
* I'll probably lose a couple lbs. Without Geo here, I won't be constantly tempted to eat mac n' cheese, pizza, burgers, fries, Baja Sol, and anything else that contains Velveeta and/or 3 sticks of butter.
* I will be singing Rihanna at the top of my lungs whenever possible. Geo is, to put it mildly, a really good singer. Like, "American Idol" good. So I usually keep my karaoke-ing to a minimum. Now that he's in Alabama, he's probably far enough away for me to safely belt out any song my little heart desires. Any requests?
Okay, so maybe a couple days on my "own" won't be so bad. (Ugh. I keep forgetting I have 2 other roommates...buzzkill.) Oh well, I'm just kind of planning hoping to have a lovely, laid back weekend. I hope you have the same, dudes!
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lists. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, November 29, 2010
Under my Umbrella. Ella. Ella.
Yesterday, my mom inquired as to what was on our Christmas wish lists. I’m kind of the Queen of Christmas Wish Lists. I’ll send my mom a huge long list of everything from a Dyson vacuum to refrigerator magnets. And I include links to the exact items. I cover every size, price range, and availability. I think my success of Christmas lists is due to a combination of my love for making lists and my need for everything under the sun. Anyway, my mom asks what we want. I say “I really want a nice, sturdy, adorable umbrella.” She scoffed at the suggestion, and said “An umbrella? In winter? That seems highly unnecessary.” I countered by explaining that standing at the bus stop in winter is a wet job, and sometimes it’s easier to hold an umbrella over my head than worry about ruining the 5-minute hairstyling job I’ve done by putting on a hat. Again, she dismissed the suggestion.
Then, today it rained. Behold! I needed an umbrella. I had to resort to using my super adorable green umbrella. Unfortunately, one of the little sprongy things that holds the umbrella up broke, and now one side limps down over me like sad, soggy bread. And suprisingly, the Scotch tape method I used to repair it has proven to be highly ineffective. I returned from my lunchtime trip to the library with a soaking wet right shoulder. Good thing I didn’t do my hair this morning…
Umbrellas are wonderful and horrible contraptions. They are a great accessory. And I like spinning them around in my hands, spraying water all over unsuspecting passersby. Huh. I typed that and just now realized how rude that must be. But just try carrying books, a purse, a shoulder bag, a cup of coffee and an umbrella through gale force winds and torrential downpours. It doesn’t work. I have considered, a number of times, buying a hands-free umbrella. You know…the kind that you wear on your head? They are a little small, though. Someone should work on improving on that concept. Plus, I don’t know if you know this or not, but umbrellas get wet. Trying to fold it back up without dripping all over yourself is a science I have not yet mastered.
Back when I was living with the boys, Perek, Geo and I were standing at the front door, getting ready to go somewhere. Perek decided to play with one of those spring-loaded umbrellas and he held the bottom of it at his shoulder like a shotgun. He positioned the top of the fully-extended umbrella millimeters away from Geo’s nose. Then, he pushed the top backwards to reclick it closed. He pressed the button to shoot the umbrella forward. Success! It stopped at the same dangerously close distance to Geo’s nose.
Then Geo grabbed the umbrella from Perek, and wanted to do the same thing. He held it up to his shoulder in the same shotgun-style way Perek had, and positioned the tip of it right at Perek’s nose. But when Geo started to push the umbrella closed to "cock it", he secretly inched it forward so he could really "scare Perek". He ended up shooting the umbrella full-force into Perek’s face. Perek screamed “YOU DIDN'T CALIBRATE! YOU DIDN’T CALIBRATE!” One: What a stupid game for guys to play. Two: Who uses the phrase “calibrate” in this kind of situation? Three: I almost wet my pants from laughing so hard.
Oh, BOYS. What would we do without them? I would have never gotten over the laughing fit if Geo had actually broken Perek's nose. But the resulting trip to the hospital would definitely have made us late for whatever we were on our way to do, and I have every reason to suspect we were on our way to the bar or something similarly pressing.
Anyhoozle, the moral of this story is that I need a new umbrella. That, or I need to wear a plastic bag over my right shoulder. Mom – I’ll revise my wishlist. I’d like EITHER an umbrella OR a plastic bag.
Then, today it rained. Behold! I needed an umbrella. I had to resort to using my super adorable green umbrella. Unfortunately, one of the little sprongy things that holds the umbrella up broke, and now one side limps down over me like sad, soggy bread. And suprisingly, the Scotch tape method I used to repair it has proven to be highly ineffective. I returned from my lunchtime trip to the library with a soaking wet right shoulder. Good thing I didn’t do my hair this morning…
Umbrellas are wonderful and horrible contraptions. They are a great accessory. And I like spinning them around in my hands, spraying water all over unsuspecting passersby. Huh. I typed that and just now realized how rude that must be. But just try carrying books, a purse, a shoulder bag, a cup of coffee and an umbrella through gale force winds and torrential downpours. It doesn’t work. I have considered, a number of times, buying a hands-free umbrella. You know…the kind that you wear on your head? They are a little small, though. Someone should work on improving on that concept. Plus, I don’t know if you know this or not, but umbrellas get wet. Trying to fold it back up without dripping all over yourself is a science I have not yet mastered.
Back when I was living with the boys, Perek, Geo and I were standing at the front door, getting ready to go somewhere. Perek decided to play with one of those spring-loaded umbrellas and he held the bottom of it at his shoulder like a shotgun. He positioned the top of the fully-extended umbrella millimeters away from Geo’s nose. Then, he pushed the top backwards to reclick it closed. He pressed the button to shoot the umbrella forward. Success! It stopped at the same dangerously close distance to Geo’s nose.
Then Geo grabbed the umbrella from Perek, and wanted to do the same thing. He held it up to his shoulder in the same shotgun-style way Perek had, and positioned the tip of it right at Perek’s nose. But when Geo started to push the umbrella closed to "cock it", he secretly inched it forward so he could really "scare Perek". He ended up shooting the umbrella full-force into Perek’s face. Perek screamed “YOU DIDN'T CALIBRATE! YOU DIDN’T CALIBRATE!” One: What a stupid game for guys to play. Two: Who uses the phrase “calibrate” in this kind of situation? Three: I almost wet my pants from laughing so hard.
Oh, BOYS. What would we do without them? I would have never gotten over the laughing fit if Geo had actually broken Perek's nose. But the resulting trip to the hospital would definitely have made us late for whatever we were on our way to do, and I have every reason to suspect we were on our way to the bar or something similarly pressing.
Anyhoozle, the moral of this story is that I need a new umbrella. That, or I need to wear a plastic bag over my right shoulder. Mom – I’ll revise my wishlist. I’d like EITHER an umbrella OR a plastic bag.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy Stanksgiving!
Oh Thanksgiving…a day to give thanks by shoving your face with turkey and gravy and potatoes and pie then taking a nice long nap on the floor. Just like the pilgrims did. I’m sure we’ve all got lots of things to be thankful for. Family, friends, and the love we share. But I feel kind of bad, you guys. I mean, lots of things get overlooked on this fine, festive holiday. Pilgrims and Native Americans didn’t know what they were missing when they sat around in a cornfield and gave thanks for buffalo or polio blankets or whatever. So, here’s just a quick list of things I’m thankful for that got overlooked at the First Thanksgiving.
* TMZ for all the news I need to know
* Automatic car starters in Minnesota winters
* Texting
* My new subscription to Vogue that JUST came in the mail (Eeeee!!!)
* Shoes. Lovely, lovely shoes.
* The ability to Pay at the Pump
* People with British accents
* Spanx
* Kate Spade
* Google desktop, so I can see Facebook, Twitter, Email, People magazine, the weather, and my horoscope all on one page
* Trader Joe’s and their wonderfully drinkable 3-buck Chuck wine
* My Crest Spinbrush toothbrush, ‘cause sometimes I don’t have the energy to do that whole “up-and-down” thing
* Blogs
Yeah, those are all great things that stupid Pilgrims never knew anything about. Okay, so they had turkey and new friends who they would eventually trick and steal from, but I’ll never know how they did it without checking in with Foursquare or eviting people to the shindig.
Alright, if we could bring down the house lights and get a little serious up in this piece for a second, I just wanted to say that there’s some real stuff I’m thankful for.
* My sister Prinna. She literally INSISTED that I start blogging all those many moons ago. She showed me how to design my page, helped me come up with the name, and designed the header. All for little ol’ me. She’s like the bombest person ever, and I’m very thankful for her.
* My mom who reads every blog SECONDS after I post one, and then writes me little emails when she really likes a particular entry. She is the ideal fan, and I love her.
* My dedicated, and sometimes wonderfully vocal, group of readers. Especially: My grandmaman, Padrin, Aunt Sarah, Cindi, Geo, all the boys who admit to reading a girlie blog (and liking it!), Liz, Ally, Madeline, and Kim for actually SHARING the blog on Facebook which spreads the blog like it’s the flu. You all rule.
Yes. I love writing this blog. I’m very THANKFUL to have it and that you guys read it. I’m thankful that my parents put me through college to write, only to end up reading about how much I love my couch and my thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Classic.
Enough with the wishy-washy. I’m going back to my vodka tonic and deciding which sweatpants go best with cranberry stains. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving, everyone!
* TMZ for all the news I need to know
* Automatic car starters in Minnesota winters
* Texting
* My new subscription to Vogue that JUST came in the mail (Eeeee!!!)
* Shoes. Lovely, lovely shoes.
* The ability to Pay at the Pump
* People with British accents
* Spanx
* Kate Spade
* Google desktop, so I can see Facebook, Twitter, Email, People magazine, the weather, and my horoscope all on one page
* Trader Joe’s and their wonderfully drinkable 3-buck Chuck wine
* My Crest Spinbrush toothbrush, ‘cause sometimes I don’t have the energy to do that whole “up-and-down” thing
* Blogs
Yeah, those are all great things that stupid Pilgrims never knew anything about. Okay, so they had turkey and new friends who they would eventually trick and steal from, but I’ll never know how they did it without checking in with Foursquare or eviting people to the shindig.
Alright, if we could bring down the house lights and get a little serious up in this piece for a second, I just wanted to say that there’s some real stuff I’m thankful for.
* My sister Prinna. She literally INSISTED that I start blogging all those many moons ago. She showed me how to design my page, helped me come up with the name, and designed the header. All for little ol’ me. She’s like the bombest person ever, and I’m very thankful for her.
* My mom who reads every blog SECONDS after I post one, and then writes me little emails when she really likes a particular entry. She is the ideal fan, and I love her.
* My dedicated, and sometimes wonderfully vocal, group of readers. Especially: My grandmaman, Padrin, Aunt Sarah, Cindi, Geo, all the boys who admit to reading a girlie blog (and liking it!), Liz, Ally, Madeline, and Kim for actually SHARING the blog on Facebook which spreads the blog like it’s the flu. You all rule.
Yes. I love writing this blog. I’m very THANKFUL to have it and that you guys read it. I’m thankful that my parents put me through college to write, only to end up reading about how much I love my couch and my thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Classic.
Enough with the wishy-washy. I’m going back to my vodka tonic and deciding which sweatpants go best with cranberry stains. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving, everyone!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
HEYYY YOUUUU GUUUYSSS!
Apparently, the gales of November are tearing through Minneapolis. And despite the bright lights and flickering TV’s across the street, our power is out. According to the very empathetic woman at the electric company, “power will definitely be restored by 7. IN THE MORNING.” Say whaaaa? I leave for work before 7 a.m., when it’s still dark out. I look bad enough when I can dry my hair and put makeup on with the help of LIGHTS, so if there’s no power tomorrow morning, I feel sorry for any people who may have to look at me.
So, here’s just a quick list of things I've tried (unsuccessfully) to do since the power went out:
* Turn on the kitchen light
* Turn on the TV
* Connect to the internet (which uses a router that runs with the power of ELECTRICITY)
* Toast my bread
* Boil water on the gas stove
* Microwave a potato
* Bake a potato in the oven
* Turn on the kitchen light AGAIN
* Charge my phone
* Charge my computer
* Google the phone number for Xcel on my computer
Well, at least no one can call me a quitter. I can’t seem to get it into my head what DOESN'T use electricity and what DOES. I just keep flipping switches and turning knobs. Luckily, after being abandoned in the pitch black hell hole by all my roommates, Liz has taken me in and is letting me pilfer her internet and watch Glee. God bless the Haves who share with the Have Nots!
I’m hoping that when I DO eventually go home, I’ll walk into a nightclub of lights, TV’s and music. That would be wonderful. I certainly don’t want to walk into a pitch black house and feel my way up to my room for bed. Though, it will be a little like Christmas if that happens, and I wake up and see what pajamas I’ve managed to put on.
So, here’s just a quick list of things I've tried (unsuccessfully) to do since the power went out:
* Turn on the kitchen light
* Turn on the TV
* Connect to the internet (which uses a router that runs with the power of ELECTRICITY)
* Toast my bread
* Boil water on the gas stove
* Microwave a potato
* Bake a potato in the oven
* Turn on the kitchen light AGAIN
* Charge my phone
* Charge my computer
* Google the phone number for Xcel on my computer
Well, at least no one can call me a quitter. I can’t seem to get it into my head what DOESN'T use electricity and what DOES. I just keep flipping switches and turning knobs. Luckily, after being abandoned in the pitch black hell hole by all my roommates, Liz has taken me in and is letting me pilfer her internet and watch Glee. God bless the Haves who share with the Have Nots!
I’m hoping that when I DO eventually go home, I’ll walk into a nightclub of lights, TV’s and music. That would be wonderful. I certainly don’t want to walk into a pitch black house and feel my way up to my room for bed. Though, it will be a little like Christmas if that happens, and I wake up and see what pajamas I’ve managed to put on.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Wednesday Winner
Dude, I thought Wednesday Winners would be, like, the easiest blogs to write of the week because I would KNOW what to write about. Not so this week. I was stumped. I sat down and wrote a whole blog about the Chilean Miners, but it ended up so serious, which made my eye twitch. So I reached out for help. I sent out an email to a bunch of people, asking for them to suggest a great Wednesday Winner. Well, apparently, people are tooooooo busy today, and I only got a fraction of the responses back.
At any rate, below are the possible winners, as nominated by my peers. I have devised a highly elaborate and precise rating system to declare the winner. The system is based on Creativity, Passion, Accuracy, Deservedness of the nominee THIS WEEK, and finally Chutzpa of the Nominator. Scoring is totally and completely subjective. And awaaaay we go!
Perek: “Christopher Columbus – For Making it To India”
Creativity-5
Passion-2
Accuracy-0
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=16 points
Ally: “ME! - Cause I’m an awesome zombie!”
Creativity-3
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=19 points
Kim: "I can't think of any winners. I can only think of losers."
Creativity-0
Passion-0
Accuracy-2
Deservedness-0
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=7 points
Madeline: “Xtina Aguilera – For finally breaking up with her ugly husband”
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=19 points
Tina: "The dinner Pharon made tonight - It looked sooooo good! Much better than my mac n' cheese!"
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-1
Chutzpa-4
TOTAL=17 points
Sanna: "Rob Dyrdek - Because he's the love of my life and he has more fun than anyone in the world."
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=18 points
Geo: “Texas Rangers - First playoff series win ever! Plus one of the guys on the team is an alcoholic so he wasnt partaking in the celebration with all of the champagne and stuff but his nice teammates attacked him with tons of ginger ale.”
Creativity-4
Passion-4
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-4 (Because no one likes Texas)
TOTAL=18 points
Claire: “Chilean Miners - Especially the one that had the mistress and the wife and the wife only found out after the mine accident.”
Creativity-2
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-5
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points
Cindi: “Sarah Abt [my aunt].......because A. She wants it SO BAD, B. She will quit b bugging you, C. She rarely gets offended at anything you might say, and D. She wants it SO BAD”
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points
Gah! We have a tie! It's down to My aunt Sarah and the Chilean Miners. God, there are JUST SO SIMILAR! This is a toughie. But for THIS week, I'm going to have to say congratulations to:
No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Chilean Miners totally ruled this week! Plus, I just got word that they've alllllll been rescued by that giant Tylenol capsule! Way to go, bros! You brought the world together, and we are a better place for it. Chi! Chi! Chi! Le! Le! Le!
At any rate, below are the possible winners, as nominated by my peers. I have devised a highly elaborate and precise rating system to declare the winner. The system is based on Creativity, Passion, Accuracy, Deservedness of the nominee THIS WEEK, and finally Chutzpa of the Nominator. Scoring is totally and completely subjective. And awaaaay we go!
Perek: “Christopher Columbus – For Making it To India”
Creativity-5
Passion-2
Accuracy-0
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=16 points
Ally: “ME! - Cause I’m an awesome zombie!”
Creativity-3
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=19 points
Kim: "I can't think of any winners. I can only think of losers."
Creativity-0
Passion-0
Accuracy-2
Deservedness-0
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=7 points
Madeline: “Xtina Aguilera – For finally breaking up with her ugly husband”
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=19 points
Tina: "The dinner Pharon made tonight - It looked sooooo good! Much better than my mac n' cheese!"
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-1
Chutzpa-4
TOTAL=17 points
Sanna: "Rob Dyrdek - Because he's the love of my life and he has more fun than anyone in the world."
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=18 points
Geo: “Texas Rangers - First playoff series win ever! Plus one of the guys on the team is an alcoholic so he wasnt partaking in the celebration with all of the champagne and stuff but his nice teammates attacked him with tons of ginger ale.”
Creativity-4
Passion-4
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-4 (Because no one likes Texas)
TOTAL=18 points
Claire: “Chilean Miners - Especially the one that had the mistress and the wife and the wife only found out after the mine accident.”
Creativity-2
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-5
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points
Cindi: “Sarah Abt [my aunt].......because A. She wants it SO BAD, B. She will quit b bugging you, C. She rarely gets offended at anything you might say, and D. She wants it SO BAD”
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points
Gah! We have a tie! It's down to My aunt Sarah and the Chilean Miners. God, there are JUST SO SIMILAR! This is a toughie. But for THIS week, I'm going to have to say congratulations to:
No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Chilean Miners totally ruled this week! Plus, I just got word that they've alllllll been rescued by that giant Tylenol capsule! Way to go, bros! You brought the world together, and we are a better place for it. Chi! Chi! Chi! Le! Le! Le!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
False Alarm, Tony Danza. Continue to Maintain Your Distance
One of the most commonly misheard lyrics is Elton John's Tiny Dancer, when people sing “Hold me closer, Tony Danza…”. Well, years ago, I was sitting in a car with my friend Ally and singing the words to that very same song. Only I was singing ”Hold me close, I’m tired o’ daaaancin’”. Ally almost drove into a tree because she was laughing so hard. Between gasps for air, and with tears in her eyes, she laughed, “Pharon, it’s the NAME OF THE SONG!” Well, color me embarrassed.
I’m sort of known for picking up lyrics to songs at a freakishly fast rate. I can hear a song once and, usually, sing along with 90% of the song the next time I hear it. It's a gift. However, in my haste, I’ll scoot over a particular line I don’t know and mumble along. The problem is, most of the time I mess up the words, it’s actually the Title Of The Song. How can I pick up everything BESIDES the one thing a song explicitly gives us? Maybe I overthink the lyrics? Maybe I'm not actually LISTENING to the lyrics? I don't know.
For instance, today, I was singing along with a song by Vampire Weekend called Horchata. Until extremely recently (read: Today), I was singing the first line of the song as “In December, drinkin’ Hot Chowdahhh”. The real lyrics are “In December, drinkin’ Horchata”. Yeah. The NAME OF THE SONG is the part I got wrong. Facepalm.
More Proof Of this Pathetic Pattern:
Artist: Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey
Pharon’s Lyrics: Once We Dance
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: One Sweet Day
Artist: Spin Doctors
Pharon’s Lyrics: One shoe, Prince will sleep before you
Actual Lyrics: One, Two Princes Kneel Before You
Title of Song: Two Princes
Artist: Prince
Pharon’s Lyrics: EIFFEL, DEIFFEL….DOO!!
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: I would…die 4…U.
I know I’m not alone. There’s a whole website dedicated to misheard lyrics. There are zillions of them, and most are hilarious. But something about the fact that I just can’t comprehend that the SONG TITLE will, most likely, appear IN THE SONG confounds me. Does not compute. No comprende. Error 404-File or Directory Not Found.
Well, thank God for the internet and You Tube. Because of these technological advances, I can watch most song videos after someone has helpfully included the lyrics in the video. I’ll never be wrong again! Unless it's Sting (thanks Family Guy).
What about you? What are some of lyrics you never got quite right? I promise not to laugh. Hard. They can't be worse than Eiffel Deiffel Doo.
I’m sort of known for picking up lyrics to songs at a freakishly fast rate. I can hear a song once and, usually, sing along with 90% of the song the next time I hear it. It's a gift. However, in my haste, I’ll scoot over a particular line I don’t know and mumble along. The problem is, most of the time I mess up the words, it’s actually the Title Of The Song. How can I pick up everything BESIDES the one thing a song explicitly gives us? Maybe I overthink the lyrics? Maybe I'm not actually LISTENING to the lyrics? I don't know.
For instance, today, I was singing along with a song by Vampire Weekend called Horchata. Until extremely recently (read: Today), I was singing the first line of the song as “In December, drinkin’ Hot Chowdahhh”. The real lyrics are “In December, drinkin’ Horchata”. Yeah. The NAME OF THE SONG is the part I got wrong. Facepalm.
More Proof Of this Pathetic Pattern:
Artist: Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey
Pharon’s Lyrics: Once We Dance
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: One Sweet Day
Artist: Spin Doctors
Pharon’s Lyrics: One shoe, Prince will sleep before you
Actual Lyrics: One, Two Princes Kneel Before You
Title of Song: Two Princes
Artist: Prince
Pharon’s Lyrics: EIFFEL, DEIFFEL….DOO!!
Actual Lyrics/Title of Song: I would…die 4…U.
I know I’m not alone. There’s a whole website dedicated to misheard lyrics. There are zillions of them, and most are hilarious. But something about the fact that I just can’t comprehend that the SONG TITLE will, most likely, appear IN THE SONG confounds me. Does not compute. No comprende. Error 404-File or Directory Not Found.
Well, thank God for the internet and You Tube. Because of these technological advances, I can watch most song videos after someone has helpfully included the lyrics in the video. I’ll never be wrong again! Unless it's Sting (thanks Family Guy).
What about you? What are some of lyrics you never got quite right? I promise not to laugh. Hard. They can't be worse than Eiffel Deiffel Doo.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday Winner
Well, as they say at every awards show, “It’s an honor just to be nominated”. I hope that’s true, because this week was full of people who deserve the title Wednesday Winner. However, there can be only one.
Nominee #1: My Sister-in-Law Nicole.
Reason for Nomination: Until recently, my hair looked like a bale of hay with a rat nesting itself in the back. It was gnarly. After one visit to see Nicole, voila! My hair is shiny and healthy(ish). She cut and colored my hair from the comfort of her own home, while I got to enjoy a glass of great wine from my brothers stash (he is a wine/liquor rep and really knows his stuff). And did I have to hand over $120 for this awesomely wonderful transformation? No, people. Family discount has its perks.
Added Bonus: Nicole also very generously forked over some great product to help keep my hair from descending into its previous state. For no charge.
Nominee #2: Geo
Reason for Nomination: His previously mentioned awesome shout out to my good girlfriending abilities on his pod cast was great. Also, on two of the days I came home from work last week, he had made me incredible dinners. Salad and everything!
Added Bonus: It’s his birthday today! Happy birthday, Geo!
Nominee #3: My long-distance girl friends
Reason for Nomination: After spending the weekend with them, it was made obnoxiously clear how much I really just love them. We crammed into one bathroom to get ready (even though there are three in Kelly’s house, it just makes sense to play human Tetris in front of one mirror). We crammed into one car to get from home to tailgate to bar to home. We crammed two week’s worth of fun into two nights. And yet, none of it felt restricting. It felt, actually, comfortable. Natural.
Added Bonus: Not really a bonus actually, but it may be a loooong time until I get to see them all together again. I might have to strike while the iron is hot.
Nominee #4: The Ladies at the VMAs
Reason for Nomination: From Chelsea Handler’s pretty hilarious hosting job, to Snookie sans-pouf, to Lady Gaga’s meat dress, to Ke$ha and her garbage bag dress, to Rihanna’s awesome performance at the beginning of the show (take THAT, Chris Brown), I really felt the ladies represented. Sure, most of them were representing the lowest-common-denominator, but I like that. I AM that.
Added Bonus: The Taylor Swift vs. Kanye West battle. Each of them sang unreleased songs. But Taylor’s was great. And a big slap in the face to the dude who nearly ruined her VMA moment only a year ago. Kanye’s performance was only ehhhh. Point: ladies.
Okay, drumroll. The winner of this week’s Wednesday Winner Award is...my sister Prinna!
She announced today that she's having another baby! I'm so excited to spoil this newest baby rotten! Congratulations, Prinna and family! You have officially made my week/life! And I mean, I know having a baby is pretty exciting, but on top of all that: You are my Wednesday Winner. It doesn't get better than that!
Nominee #1: My Sister-in-Law Nicole.
Reason for Nomination: Until recently, my hair looked like a bale of hay with a rat nesting itself in the back. It was gnarly. After one visit to see Nicole, voila! My hair is shiny and healthy(ish). She cut and colored my hair from the comfort of her own home, while I got to enjoy a glass of great wine from my brothers stash (he is a wine/liquor rep and really knows his stuff). And did I have to hand over $120 for this awesomely wonderful transformation? No, people. Family discount has its perks.
Added Bonus: Nicole also very generously forked over some great product to help keep my hair from descending into its previous state. For no charge.
Nominee #2: Geo
Reason for Nomination: His previously mentioned awesome shout out to my good girlfriending abilities on his pod cast was great. Also, on two of the days I came home from work last week, he had made me incredible dinners. Salad and everything!
Added Bonus: It’s his birthday today! Happy birthday, Geo!
Nominee #3: My long-distance girl friends
Reason for Nomination: After spending the weekend with them, it was made obnoxiously clear how much I really just love them. We crammed into one bathroom to get ready (even though there are three in Kelly’s house, it just makes sense to play human Tetris in front of one mirror). We crammed into one car to get from home to tailgate to bar to home. We crammed two week’s worth of fun into two nights. And yet, none of it felt restricting. It felt, actually, comfortable. Natural.
Added Bonus: Not really a bonus actually, but it may be a loooong time until I get to see them all together again. I might have to strike while the iron is hot.
Nominee #4: The Ladies at the VMAs
Reason for Nomination: From Chelsea Handler’s pretty hilarious hosting job, to Snookie sans-pouf, to Lady Gaga’s meat dress, to Ke$ha and her garbage bag dress, to Rihanna’s awesome performance at the beginning of the show (take THAT, Chris Brown), I really felt the ladies represented. Sure, most of them were representing the lowest-common-denominator, but I like that. I AM that.
Added Bonus: The Taylor Swift vs. Kanye West battle. Each of them sang unreleased songs. But Taylor’s was great. And a big slap in the face to the dude who nearly ruined her VMA moment only a year ago. Kanye’s performance was only ehhhh. Point: ladies.
Okay, drumroll. The winner of this week’s Wednesday Winner Award is...my sister Prinna!
She announced today that she's having another baby! I'm so excited to spoil this newest baby rotten! Congratulations, Prinna and family! You have officially made my week/life! And I mean, I know having a baby is pretty exciting, but on top of all that: You are my Wednesday Winner. It doesn't get better than that!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
List-o-mania
I’m getting ready for my solo road trip to Iowa City this weekend. I’m meeting up with Freda, Madeline, and Kelly for the U of Iowa vs. Iowa State football game, and I. Am. Stoked. In preparation for my travels, I’ve begun My Packing List. I absolutely love making lists. And since the rest of my week is pretty crazy, tonight is really the only time I have to prepare.
I’m a really bad packer. I always over pack, and not in the “I just don’t know what the weather is going to be like” kind of way. I pack 6 different pairs of shoes for two nights away because I just don’t know what I’ll feel like wearing, and I like to have options. So packing is a big job for me. But while I may bring 7 sweatshirts, I’ll forget pants. And thus the need for a List.
So far, my Packing List consists of 3 categories: Clothes, Accessories, Other Stuff. Then there are subcategories that are broken down by day. So, Friday, I’ll need these 2 pairs of pants, these 4 shirts, and these 2 pairs of black heels to choose from. And this continues on through the end of the trip. And because I forget things all the time, there are things included on there like KEYS. Really, Pharon? You really think you’ll be DRIVING to Iowa and realize you’ve forgotten your car keys? I’m impossible…
One time while packing for Mexico, I had Geo read me my list back to me so I could make sure I had everything. He read,”Okay, um…comfy jeans?” Check. “Regular jeans?” Check. “Black shirt with thing on collar?” Check. “Black shirt without thing on collar?” Check. “Thing for the night? What is that?” I said “Check” and quickly moved on. I realized at that moment that my lists are unintentionally coded. Instead of writing “my blanket” I wrote “thing for the night”, embarrassed that someone would find the list and discover that I still have my childhood blanket (another post all in itself). So besides the vague descriptions of clothes that only I can understand, I guess I also code items that I wish didn’t have to be on the list, but MUST be included out of fear of forgetting them. I remember a list I made once that had “Thing I Need” under the Miscellaneous header, which to this day I have no idea what it was. I had out-coded myself.
I don’t know what it is about lists, but I just feel incredible when I can check off items. I have about 6 lists running at any given time in my life. Right now it’s: Blogs I Must Read, Blogs I Must Write, Books I Want to Read, Gift Ideas, Target List, and a list of offensive Russian Phrases that might come in handy some day. I feel so organized! And this doesn’t include my many, many, many To Do Lists. I have a To Do list at work (two, actually), I have Things to Do This Month, Things To Do Today, and just general things I have to do in my lifetime. You know, stuff like “Understand Math”. Sometimes I’ll add items to the list after I’ve done them, just so I can check them off.
So, I’ve got my Packing List almost done. I’ve put it into 3 columns, and made all the bullets into check boxes. I can’t wait to start checking things off. Tonight, I’m going shopping with my mom and Prinna, which will be good because just now I added a header called, “Things to Buy”. A list within a list. Perfection.
I’m a really bad packer. I always over pack, and not in the “I just don’t know what the weather is going to be like” kind of way. I pack 6 different pairs of shoes for two nights away because I just don’t know what I’ll feel like wearing, and I like to have options. So packing is a big job for me. But while I may bring 7 sweatshirts, I’ll forget pants. And thus the need for a List.
So far, my Packing List consists of 3 categories: Clothes, Accessories, Other Stuff. Then there are subcategories that are broken down by day. So, Friday, I’ll need these 2 pairs of pants, these 4 shirts, and these 2 pairs of black heels to choose from. And this continues on through the end of the trip. And because I forget things all the time, there are things included on there like KEYS. Really, Pharon? You really think you’ll be DRIVING to Iowa and realize you’ve forgotten your car keys? I’m impossible…
One time while packing for Mexico, I had Geo read me my list back to me so I could make sure I had everything. He read,”Okay, um…comfy jeans?” Check. “Regular jeans?” Check. “Black shirt with thing on collar?” Check. “Black shirt without thing on collar?” Check. “Thing for the night? What is that?” I said “Check” and quickly moved on. I realized at that moment that my lists are unintentionally coded. Instead of writing “my blanket” I wrote “thing for the night”, embarrassed that someone would find the list and discover that I still have my childhood blanket (another post all in itself). So besides the vague descriptions of clothes that only I can understand, I guess I also code items that I wish didn’t have to be on the list, but MUST be included out of fear of forgetting them. I remember a list I made once that had “Thing I Need” under the Miscellaneous header, which to this day I have no idea what it was. I had out-coded myself.
I don’t know what it is about lists, but I just feel incredible when I can check off items. I have about 6 lists running at any given time in my life. Right now it’s: Blogs I Must Read, Blogs I Must Write, Books I Want to Read, Gift Ideas, Target List, and a list of offensive Russian Phrases that might come in handy some day. I feel so organized! And this doesn’t include my many, many, many To Do Lists. I have a To Do list at work (two, actually), I have Things to Do This Month, Things To Do Today, and just general things I have to do in my lifetime. You know, stuff like “Understand Math”. Sometimes I’ll add items to the list after I’ve done them, just so I can check them off.
So, I’ve got my Packing List almost done. I’ve put it into 3 columns, and made all the bullets into check boxes. I can’t wait to start checking things off. Tonight, I’m going shopping with my mom and Prinna, which will be good because just now I added a header called, “Things to Buy”. A list within a list. Perfection.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Whoa, Man.
You know what’s no fun? Getting punched in the face. I was punched once. I took it upon myself to nobly try and break up a fight, and stood between a fist and a man, and it did not go well. Right in the kisser, as they say. Immediately, the crowd around me tackled the guy who had thrown the punch (intended for the other dude) and made him pay. I’ve made it a point ever since then to avoid both fights and fists.
So last night, Geo and I were joking around and I punched him in the arm. He (very lightly) punched my arm right back. “OW! You can’t hit me! I’m a girl!” I yelped. And I punched his arm even harder than before. How is this fair? I, and pretty much all women, have this invisible force field around us at all times. We could punch a guy right in the face, and he can’t do anything. It’s like we are playing tag, and the women are always safe on base.
I don’t know who worked up the pretty sweet deal that women have these days. (CAVEAT! I know that not all women enjoy the freedoms we have. I know that there are exceptions, there’s discrimination, there’s all kinds of things that happen every day to women, simply because they ARE WOMEN. But, it’s almost the weekend, and I’m taking the light-hearted approach, so take it easy).
As I was saying, we’ve got a pretty sick deal going on. A woman can have any job she wants. She can play professional sports, she can invent something scientific-y, she can write the world‘s best novel, she can stay home with her kids if she wants, or she can skip having kids altogether. All that’s there. But there are things that women enjoy every day that I think people take for granted. So, before any one goes crazy and starts talking about women being the exact same as men, take a minute and consider these things we‘d have to give up:
1) It’s still typically frowned upon if we pay on the first date. The fact that we even do that whole “oh, here, let me pretend to dig out my wallet that I better not have to use” thing is more than enough.
2) As mentioned above, we can hit a guy whenever we’d like, and not get hit back. This is really a great thing for me, because I’m bettin’ that there’s a whole gang of people who would haul off and smack me daily if it weren’t so against nature.
3) Every single month, we can say and do whatever we’d like for the week Aunt Flo’s in town. “Don’t blame me for setting all your clothes on fire, honey! I can’t help it! IT’S BIOLOGY!”
4) Men have to give up their seat to us on a crowded bus. Even if he works for a women and she pays his salary, he’ll have to stand and watch as she nestles her well-dressed booty into his seat.
5) Men still open doors for us, pull out our chair at a restaurant, and pay for our plastic surgery.
Are men suckers now? Is that what’s happening? I mean, I wish I could have been at the meeting where all this was decided.
“Okay, ladies. So here are the new rules: women can do anything we want. We don’t have to shave anymore, we can vote, we don’t have to obey our husbands, and we definitely won’t stand for being discriminated against at a job. That’s all well and good. Lovely. Wait, what’s that? Oh, yes, definitely. Old rules still apply as well. No hitting us, we birth children so a man’s pain will never EVER be comparable, and, if the ship is sinking, it’s still women and children first. We good? Great. Let‘s go out for manis/pedis.”
I mean, I love it, don’t get me wrong. But doesn’t it seem a little unfair? It almost feels like we’re cheating a bit. It would make sense if women were, say getting $.25 less than a man at a job. I’d consider that like INSURANCE AGAINST BODILY HARM. But given that the playing field is getting more and more even, I better start watching my mouth and minding my manners. Some day someone’s going to catch on to this. And on that day, I anticipate a lot of punches. Until then, though? I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth…
Yes, this is a very lame video, but it’s the best recording, so just close your eyes…
So last night, Geo and I were joking around and I punched him in the arm. He (very lightly) punched my arm right back. “OW! You can’t hit me! I’m a girl!” I yelped. And I punched his arm even harder than before. How is this fair? I, and pretty much all women, have this invisible force field around us at all times. We could punch a guy right in the face, and he can’t do anything. It’s like we are playing tag, and the women are always safe on base.
I don’t know who worked up the pretty sweet deal that women have these days. (CAVEAT! I know that not all women enjoy the freedoms we have. I know that there are exceptions, there’s discrimination, there’s all kinds of things that happen every day to women, simply because they ARE WOMEN. But, it’s almost the weekend, and I’m taking the light-hearted approach, so take it easy).
As I was saying, we’ve got a pretty sick deal going on. A woman can have any job she wants. She can play professional sports, she can invent something scientific-y, she can write the world‘s best novel, she can stay home with her kids if she wants, or she can skip having kids altogether. All that’s there. But there are things that women enjoy every day that I think people take for granted. So, before any one goes crazy and starts talking about women being the exact same as men, take a minute and consider these things we‘d have to give up:
1) It’s still typically frowned upon if we pay on the first date. The fact that we even do that whole “oh, here, let me pretend to dig out my wallet that I better not have to use” thing is more than enough.
2) As mentioned above, we can hit a guy whenever we’d like, and not get hit back. This is really a great thing for me, because I’m bettin’ that there’s a whole gang of people who would haul off and smack me daily if it weren’t so against nature.
3) Every single month, we can say and do whatever we’d like for the week Aunt Flo’s in town. “Don’t blame me for setting all your clothes on fire, honey! I can’t help it! IT’S BIOLOGY!”
4) Men have to give up their seat to us on a crowded bus. Even if he works for a women and she pays his salary, he’ll have to stand and watch as she nestles her well-dressed booty into his seat.
5) Men still open doors for us, pull out our chair at a restaurant, and pay for our plastic surgery.
Are men suckers now? Is that what’s happening? I mean, I wish I could have been at the meeting where all this was decided.
“Okay, ladies. So here are the new rules: women can do anything we want. We don’t have to shave anymore, we can vote, we don’t have to obey our husbands, and we definitely won’t stand for being discriminated against at a job. That’s all well and good. Lovely. Wait, what’s that? Oh, yes, definitely. Old rules still apply as well. No hitting us, we birth children so a man’s pain will never EVER be comparable, and, if the ship is sinking, it’s still women and children first. We good? Great. Let‘s go out for manis/pedis.”
I mean, I love it, don’t get me wrong. But doesn’t it seem a little unfair? It almost feels like we’re cheating a bit. It would make sense if women were, say getting $.25 less than a man at a job. I’d consider that like INSURANCE AGAINST BODILY HARM. But given that the playing field is getting more and more even, I better start watching my mouth and minding my manners. Some day someone’s going to catch on to this. And on that day, I anticipate a lot of punches. Until then, though? I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth…
Yes, this is a very lame video, but it’s the best recording, so just close your eyes…
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I Put the "Ph" in Phobias
For no particular reason, here’s a list of some irrational fears I have.
* Wearing dirty clothes and not knowing it. I put on a pair of pants a few days ago before work, and if I had not had the, eh hem, hindsight to check out my own butt in the mirror, I might not have seen the giant spot from God knows what plastered into the left cheek of the pants. I wonder what shirt goes best with humiliation. I also get scared of staining clothes in an unfortunate place. I once spilled my red Crystal Light on my lap. Had I not been wearing black pants, I would have just about died from embarrassment.
* Not having enough money at a check-out. There is nothing more frustrating than being behind someone at the grocery store who either doesn’t have enough cash on hand, or their credit card isn’t working properly. I fear that I am going to be that person holding everyone up behind me, hearing their murmurs of disgust, “She shouldn’t be buying all those bagels and bottles of wine if she doesn’t have money.” The worst part of this fear manifests itself in parking lots where you pay as you exit. I check out my cash situation before I even park, and then I spend a few minutes making sure I’ve got more than enough again before I leave, and that I have it ready in my hands before pulling up to the booth. The fear that I may have to back up, potentially causing a line of other drivers to do the same thing, re-park, and get out and find an ATM is palpable.
* Eating a Band-Aid. The only thing worse than finding a Band-Aid in your food at a restaurant is not finding the potential Band-Aid. Since I’ve never actually found one in my food, I have put myself in danger of having eaten like a dozen in my lifetime.
* Feet. This is no secret to anyone who knows me. I hate feet. I can’t look at them, I can’t stand it when people look at mine, and, under no circumstances, are feet to come in direct contact with any parts of my skin. Feet are horrible. They smell. They’re either bony and bumpy, or thick and swollen. They have all kinds of rough areas. So I’m pretty much on constant alert for any offending feet in my immediate area. When my mom is feeling particularly wicked, she’ll poke me on the leg with her toe and I’ll freak out. The one exception to this fear? My niece’s feet. Her toes feel like little pieces of rice, and smell like her cotton socks. They’re soft and I simply don’t mind them at all.
* Inadvertently Stealing. I can walk around Target for hours. I like wandering from department to department. And by the time I get to Electronics, I’ve forgotten that the lip balm I picked up in Cosmetics is in my hand, not my basket. So I’ll start piling my stuff on the conveyer belt to check out (only after making sure to have enough money, btw) and I’ll come thisclose to dropping the lip balm in my purse to free up my hands. I’m terrified that I’ll be walking out of the store, alarms will sound, and I will be caught stealing $3 lip balm.
* Wearing dirty clothes and not knowing it. I put on a pair of pants a few days ago before work, and if I had not had the, eh hem, hindsight to check out my own butt in the mirror, I might not have seen the giant spot from God knows what plastered into the left cheek of the pants. I wonder what shirt goes best with humiliation. I also get scared of staining clothes in an unfortunate place. I once spilled my red Crystal Light on my lap. Had I not been wearing black pants, I would have just about died from embarrassment.
* Not having enough money at a check-out. There is nothing more frustrating than being behind someone at the grocery store who either doesn’t have enough cash on hand, or their credit card isn’t working properly. I fear that I am going to be that person holding everyone up behind me, hearing their murmurs of disgust, “She shouldn’t be buying all those bagels and bottles of wine if she doesn’t have money.” The worst part of this fear manifests itself in parking lots where you pay as you exit. I check out my cash situation before I even park, and then I spend a few minutes making sure I’ve got more than enough again before I leave, and that I have it ready in my hands before pulling up to the booth. The fear that I may have to back up, potentially causing a line of other drivers to do the same thing, re-park, and get out and find an ATM is palpable.
* Eating a Band-Aid. The only thing worse than finding a Band-Aid in your food at a restaurant is not finding the potential Band-Aid. Since I’ve never actually found one in my food, I have put myself in danger of having eaten like a dozen in my lifetime.
* Feet. This is no secret to anyone who knows me. I hate feet. I can’t look at them, I can’t stand it when people look at mine, and, under no circumstances, are feet to come in direct contact with any parts of my skin. Feet are horrible. They smell. They’re either bony and bumpy, or thick and swollen. They have all kinds of rough areas. So I’m pretty much on constant alert for any offending feet in my immediate area. When my mom is feeling particularly wicked, she’ll poke me on the leg with her toe and I’ll freak out. The one exception to this fear? My niece’s feet. Her toes feel like little pieces of rice, and smell like her cotton socks. They’re soft and I simply don’t mind them at all.
* Inadvertently Stealing. I can walk around Target for hours. I like wandering from department to department. And by the time I get to Electronics, I’ve forgotten that the lip balm I picked up in Cosmetics is in my hand, not my basket. So I’ll start piling my stuff on the conveyer belt to check out (only after making sure to have enough money, btw) and I’ll come thisclose to dropping the lip balm in my purse to free up my hands. I’m terrified that I’ll be walking out of the store, alarms will sound, and I will be caught stealing $3 lip balm.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tha $lang Thang
Quick poll time. Is there an age limit for using slang? Particularly the following words:
*w00t
*pwned
*stupes
*gnarly
*tbs (okay, I made this one up. It means “very funny”)
*salty
*omg
Before you decide, please note that I do use these words correctly and effortlessly. And, despite my age, I act and live like a 23 year-old. I would just like to know if I sound like one of those people who uses slang and it sounds like a panda ordering a fajita burrito at Chipotle . You know, unnatural.
Take the weekend. Think about, and let me know. :) Happy weekend everyone!
*w00t
*pwned
*stupes
*gnarly
*tbs (okay, I made this one up. It means “very funny”)
*salty
*omg
Before you decide, please note that I do use these words correctly and effortlessly. And, despite my age, I act and live like a 23 year-old. I would just like to know if I sound like one of those people who uses slang and it sounds like a panda ordering a fajita burrito at Chipotle . You know, unnatural.
Take the weekend. Think about, and let me know. :) Happy weekend everyone!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Forgive me...
There are a few things you must know about me. I consider myself a pretty decent judge of music. I was in band and played piano until I was 18, and I go through phases of obsessively listening to every type of music from NWA to Prince to Reba McIntyre to Bob Dylan to Ke$ha. I’d also consider myself a pretty decent judge of literature. I majored in English in college, worked at a magazine for a few years and now work at a publishing company. Lastly, I’m obsessed with all that Kate Spade has ever made and everything she will ever put her name on. So, with all that explained, I have some confessions I’d like to make.
I love Miley Cyrus, Cosmo Magazine, and $10 bags from Heartbreaker stores.
Let me first explain Miley. I nannied for my niece Annabelle when she was 3 years old. I got positively sick of hearing Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer all the time. The happy medium we discovered was Mylie’s show Hannah Montana. She loved the music and colorful clothes, I loved that it wasn’t on PBS. But sweet nibblets! I got majorly sucked in. She’s like the new version of Clarissa Explains it All. So, when her songs started playing on the Top 40 radio station, I couldn’t make myself turn them off. She’s 17, not a “strong” performer yet, probably too provocative, maybe a little irresponsible, but what do I care? She’s not my daughter. So, I download her songs and crank them up. I have no apologies. Plus, I really doubt there’s anyone in the country who doesn’t know the words to Party in the U.S.A.
Second, Cosmo. I’ve read this magazine since I was 15 and stealing them from my older sisters. Cosmo is easy-reading full of girlie need-to-know stuff. Don’t know how to do a smokey eye? Here’s how: in 3 steps. Wondering what goes on in a guys brain on the first date? They’ve already polled 1,000 men. But my favorite part is always the quizzes. They could not be easier to ace. There’s always one crazy choice, one boring choice, and the perfect medium. This month, there’s a “What Kind of Hot Are You?” quiz. The results are: Statement-Making Hot, Down-to-Earth Hot, Bombshell Hot, and Girlie Hot. No matter what I choose, the result is: I’m Hot. It’s like a mug of hot chocolate for my self-esteem.
Finally, cheap bags. The only bag I carry right now is a Kate Spade bag with black and white logos on the outside, and purple silk on the inside. My boyfriend gave it to me for my birthday, and I adore this bag. But unfortunately, I do not enjoy the lifestyle that allows me to purchase Kate Spade items every day. I have Kate Spade shoes, jewelry, bags, wallets, stationary, glassware…most all of which have been gifts. So, when I’m really itching for a new bag, I feel like I’m cheating on Kate by buying a different, cheaper designer’s. Instead, I walk on down to Heartbreaker and by some no-name cheap pleather bag in a crazy color that I‘ll use like 5 times. It costs me all of $10, and I don’t suffer the guilt of investing in something non-Kate. When I’m finally at a point in life where I can choose quality over quantity, I would suggest you invest in Kate Spade stock.
Whew! That felt good to get that off my chest. Now I can get back to BBC and studying Pavarotti.
I love Miley Cyrus, Cosmo Magazine, and $10 bags from Heartbreaker stores.
Let me first explain Miley. I nannied for my niece Annabelle when she was 3 years old. I got positively sick of hearing Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer all the time. The happy medium we discovered was Mylie’s show Hannah Montana. She loved the music and colorful clothes, I loved that it wasn’t on PBS. But sweet nibblets! I got majorly sucked in. She’s like the new version of Clarissa Explains it All. So, when her songs started playing on the Top 40 radio station, I couldn’t make myself turn them off. She’s 17, not a “strong” performer yet, probably too provocative, maybe a little irresponsible, but what do I care? She’s not my daughter. So, I download her songs and crank them up. I have no apologies. Plus, I really doubt there’s anyone in the country who doesn’t know the words to Party in the U.S.A.
Second, Cosmo. I’ve read this magazine since I was 15 and stealing them from my older sisters. Cosmo is easy-reading full of girlie need-to-know stuff. Don’t know how to do a smokey eye? Here’s how: in 3 steps. Wondering what goes on in a guys brain on the first date? They’ve already polled 1,000 men. But my favorite part is always the quizzes. They could not be easier to ace. There’s always one crazy choice, one boring choice, and the perfect medium. This month, there’s a “What Kind of Hot Are You?” quiz. The results are: Statement-Making Hot, Down-to-Earth Hot, Bombshell Hot, and Girlie Hot. No matter what I choose, the result is: I’m Hot. It’s like a mug of hot chocolate for my self-esteem.
Finally, cheap bags. The only bag I carry right now is a Kate Spade bag with black and white logos on the outside, and purple silk on the inside. My boyfriend gave it to me for my birthday, and I adore this bag. But unfortunately, I do not enjoy the lifestyle that allows me to purchase Kate Spade items every day. I have Kate Spade shoes, jewelry, bags, wallets, stationary, glassware…most all of which have been gifts. So, when I’m really itching for a new bag, I feel like I’m cheating on Kate by buying a different, cheaper designer’s. Instead, I walk on down to Heartbreaker and by some no-name cheap pleather bag in a crazy color that I‘ll use like 5 times. It costs me all of $10, and I don’t suffer the guilt of investing in something non-Kate. When I’m finally at a point in life where I can choose quality over quantity, I would suggest you invest in Kate Spade stock.
Whew! That felt good to get that off my chest. Now I can get back to BBC and studying Pavarotti.
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