Welp, we didn’t quite get any of the Christmas holiday decorations up this weekend. We bought the tree, though, and it looks awesome. But it’s pretty sad without any lights or glittery crap hanging from it. And the wreath I DID hang on our front door came crashing to the floor minutes after I hung it. It’s like Christmas doesn’t WANT to hang out with me. Or if it does, it’s certainly not making it easy for me.
Anyway, I just wanted to kind of run through some reminders and changes that have happened and will happen here at Pharon Square headquarters. And in the spirit of the holidays, I’m going to try and make them into songs. I need a more exciting life planned on Sunday nights…
* Hark! The Herald Facebook Page iiiiiss Up and You Should “Like” It. AND pass it on to any friends who you think would enjoy some good ol‘ fashioned self-deprecating humor. Plus, you can post hilarious pictures and blog ideas. Just search FB for Pharon Square and you’ll be able to LIKE to your heart’s desire.
* Joy to the World, I Bought my Own Website. www.pharonsquare.com is, for now, forwarding to my blogspot blog. But in the coming weeks, I’ll be switching over to my own site which will give me the freedom to poll your eyes out, and place pictures any place I damn well please. So, get excited for that. Seriously. Mark your calendars, if you haven’t already…
* Oh Comment, all Ye Faithful Don’t be afraid to comment or click on your reactions (under the videos). And if you’re terrified of being caught reading the World’s Best Blog for some reason, you can always stay Anonymous. Though, I like talking back to people with names, so feel free to make up a handle for yourself (a la LanaMadonna) so you’ll know for sure when I’m talking trash right to you.
* I Saw Santa Sharing Pharon Square Dudes, I will definitely NOT be mad if you tell your friends about this blog if you like it. In fact, I’d totes appreciate it. FB links, tweets, writing a letter to your great aunt Mildred and mailing it to her with a 41-cent stamp works too, but it seems like a lot of work, and no one likes to do a lot of work. You can always follow me on Twitter or FB by clicking those handy links up there on the left. And when you want to share a blog, you can do so with 1-click by using those neato little icons after each post. Technology…what WILL they think of next!?
*Finally, Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Pharon Laid an Egg Okay, that one doesn’t actually make any sense or mean anything, but If you have any questions, suggestions, death threats, stalker letters filled with my hair, or general comments you can always comment directly on the blog or on the FB page for now. I’ll be setting up a new email account for the blog too, but I’m too tired to right now and I’m having trouble deciding between pharonsquare@gmail.com and pharon.square_funblogtime18347983626@aol.org/dialup Decisions, decisions…
Now that all that garbage is out of the way, we can all move on. How was your weekend? Did you see any good movies? Discover a ginormous splinter in your foot that has been hurting for a week now (I’ll give you one guess as to who that was)? Anyone get arrested? Buy a car? Elope to Vegas? Tell me some good stories.
(Sorry, there’s no video today. Comcast is down AGAIN, so I couldn’t get to youtube to get a video. If I ever stop hating Comcast, maybe I’ll add one later…we thank you for your patience.)
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Happy Stanksgiving!
Oh Thanksgiving…a day to give thanks by shoving your face with turkey and gravy and potatoes and pie then taking a nice long nap on the floor. Just like the pilgrims did. I’m sure we’ve all got lots of things to be thankful for. Family, friends, and the love we share. But I feel kind of bad, you guys. I mean, lots of things get overlooked on this fine, festive holiday. Pilgrims and Native Americans didn’t know what they were missing when they sat around in a cornfield and gave thanks for buffalo or polio blankets or whatever. So, here’s just a quick list of things I’m thankful for that got overlooked at the First Thanksgiving.
* TMZ for all the news I need to know
* Automatic car starters in Minnesota winters
* Texting
* My new subscription to Vogue that JUST came in the mail (Eeeee!!!)
* Shoes. Lovely, lovely shoes.
* The ability to Pay at the Pump
* People with British accents
* Spanx
* Kate Spade
* Google desktop, so I can see Facebook, Twitter, Email, People magazine, the weather, and my horoscope all on one page
* Trader Joe’s and their wonderfully drinkable 3-buck Chuck wine
* My Crest Spinbrush toothbrush, ‘cause sometimes I don’t have the energy to do that whole “up-and-down” thing
* Blogs
Yeah, those are all great things that stupid Pilgrims never knew anything about. Okay, so they had turkey and new friends who they would eventually trick and steal from, but I’ll never know how they did it without checking in with Foursquare or eviting people to the shindig.
Alright, if we could bring down the house lights and get a little serious up in this piece for a second, I just wanted to say that there’s some real stuff I’m thankful for.
* My sister Prinna. She literally INSISTED that I start blogging all those many moons ago. She showed me how to design my page, helped me come up with the name, and designed the header. All for little ol’ me. She’s like the bombest person ever, and I’m very thankful for her.
* My mom who reads every blog SECONDS after I post one, and then writes me little emails when she really likes a particular entry. She is the ideal fan, and I love her.
* My dedicated, and sometimes wonderfully vocal, group of readers. Especially: My grandmaman, Padrin, Aunt Sarah, Cindi, Geo, all the boys who admit to reading a girlie blog (and liking it!), Liz, Ally, Madeline, and Kim for actually SHARING the blog on Facebook which spreads the blog like it’s the flu. You all rule.
Yes. I love writing this blog. I’m very THANKFUL to have it and that you guys read it. I’m thankful that my parents put me through college to write, only to end up reading about how much I love my couch and my thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Classic.
Enough with the wishy-washy. I’m going back to my vodka tonic and deciding which sweatpants go best with cranberry stains. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving, everyone!
* TMZ for all the news I need to know
* Automatic car starters in Minnesota winters
* Texting
* My new subscription to Vogue that JUST came in the mail (Eeeee!!!)
* Shoes. Lovely, lovely shoes.
* The ability to Pay at the Pump
* People with British accents
* Spanx
* Kate Spade
* Google desktop, so I can see Facebook, Twitter, Email, People magazine, the weather, and my horoscope all on one page
* Trader Joe’s and their wonderfully drinkable 3-buck Chuck wine
* My Crest Spinbrush toothbrush, ‘cause sometimes I don’t have the energy to do that whole “up-and-down” thing
* Blogs
Yeah, those are all great things that stupid Pilgrims never knew anything about. Okay, so they had turkey and new friends who they would eventually trick and steal from, but I’ll never know how they did it without checking in with Foursquare or eviting people to the shindig.
Alright, if we could bring down the house lights and get a little serious up in this piece for a second, I just wanted to say that there’s some real stuff I’m thankful for.
* My sister Prinna. She literally INSISTED that I start blogging all those many moons ago. She showed me how to design my page, helped me come up with the name, and designed the header. All for little ol’ me. She’s like the bombest person ever, and I’m very thankful for her.
* My mom who reads every blog SECONDS after I post one, and then writes me little emails when she really likes a particular entry. She is the ideal fan, and I love her.
* My dedicated, and sometimes wonderfully vocal, group of readers. Especially: My grandmaman, Padrin, Aunt Sarah, Cindi, Geo, all the boys who admit to reading a girlie blog (and liking it!), Liz, Ally, Madeline, and Kim for actually SHARING the blog on Facebook which spreads the blog like it’s the flu. You all rule.
Yes. I love writing this blog. I’m very THANKFUL to have it and that you guys read it. I’m thankful that my parents put me through college to write, only to end up reading about how much I love my couch and my thoughts on Lindsay Lohan. Classic.
Enough with the wishy-washy. I’m going back to my vodka tonic and deciding which sweatpants go best with cranberry stains. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving, everyone!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wednesday....????
The results of last week’s Wednesday Winner poll are in!! And the response has been...underwhelming. I’m no clearer about the fate of my weekly awards than I was last week. Some people said “Keep it.” Some said “Keep it, but only focus on famous people.” Some said “Eh, whatever.” Still others said “Seriously, Pharon! I don’t care! Now get out of my house.”
So...Whatever. I’m going to still do them. I like giving away fictitious awards and keeping people on their toes. And I like alliteration. A lot. So, it'll just be Wednesday Whatever-I-Want type of thing. Because at the end of the day, does anyone really care? Probs not. And it keeps me on a schedule, and I dig a good schedule, people.
With all that said, here it is Wednesday and I have no Winner with which to dazzle you. It’s been a pretty regular week, and reflecting back on the whole week, I’ve decided that I’m sort of like “Eh, whatever” about most of it.
I think I need a Wednesday Eh, Whatever. You know, okay, so Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged. Sorry, but Eh, Whatever. I guess he’s some sort of royalty? Is that right? Well, I like my Kings and Queens a little more, um, LOCAL. I DO think it’s creepy that he proposed with his mother’s engagement ring, which she wore everyday until THEY DIVORCED. Call me crazy, but I’d be a little skeezed out. Maybe he should have given her one of Di’s PERSONAL rings or something. Not a physical symbol of failed marriage.
Still, I’m just like “Meh” about the whole thing. Same goes for Eva Longoria and the fact that she filed for divorce today. Her husband cheated on her. Big shocker…what male celebrity DOESN’T cheat these days? I have to give him props for at least being quite gutsy about it. He is some sort of professional basketball player, I’m told. And he cheated with a TEAMMATES WIFE, but then I found out that the teammate and his wife were in the midst of a divorce of their own anyway. So I went back to Eh, whatever…
To top it off, it’s the time of year where it’s not QUITE the holiday season, but not quite NOT the holiday season. You following me? In downtown Minneapolis, the hanging baskets of flowers were removed from the street lights this week. As if illustrating my point, the city has set the flower replacements - big, light up snowflakes - right NEXT to the street lights. They haven’t quite gotten around to HANGING THEM yet. They’re like “Eh. Whatever. We’ve got about 7 months of winter to do it…” It’s like they’re reading my mind.
So in lieu of a Winner this week, I guess I’m going with a Whatever. Who knows what next week will bring? Wednesday Wimp? Wino? Wednesday Whil Wheaton (that’s for all you Family Guy fans out there) Wednesday Whodunnit? Now that’d be awesome…maybe next week, I’ll have like a mystery I need you guys to solve. I don’t know. Whatever.
So...Whatever. I’m going to still do them. I like giving away fictitious awards and keeping people on their toes. And I like alliteration. A lot. So, it'll just be Wednesday Whatever-I-Want type of thing. Because at the end of the day, does anyone really care? Probs not. And it keeps me on a schedule, and I dig a good schedule, people.
With all that said, here it is Wednesday and I have no Winner with which to dazzle you. It’s been a pretty regular week, and reflecting back on the whole week, I’ve decided that I’m sort of like “Eh, whatever” about most of it.
I think I need a Wednesday Eh, Whatever. You know, okay, so Prince William and Kate Middleton are engaged. Sorry, but Eh, Whatever. I guess he’s some sort of royalty? Is that right? Well, I like my Kings and Queens a little more, um, LOCAL. I DO think it’s creepy that he proposed with his mother’s engagement ring, which she wore everyday until THEY DIVORCED. Call me crazy, but I’d be a little skeezed out. Maybe he should have given her one of Di’s PERSONAL rings or something. Not a physical symbol of failed marriage.
Still, I’m just like “Meh” about the whole thing. Same goes for Eva Longoria and the fact that she filed for divorce today. Her husband cheated on her. Big shocker…what male celebrity DOESN’T cheat these days? I have to give him props for at least being quite gutsy about it. He is some sort of professional basketball player, I’m told. And he cheated with a TEAMMATES WIFE, but then I found out that the teammate and his wife were in the midst of a divorce of their own anyway. So I went back to Eh, whatever…
To top it off, it’s the time of year where it’s not QUITE the holiday season, but not quite NOT the holiday season. You following me? In downtown Minneapolis, the hanging baskets of flowers were removed from the street lights this week. As if illustrating my point, the city has set the flower replacements - big, light up snowflakes - right NEXT to the street lights. They haven’t quite gotten around to HANGING THEM yet. They’re like “Eh. Whatever. We’ve got about 7 months of winter to do it…” It’s like they’re reading my mind.
So in lieu of a Winner this week, I guess I’m going with a Whatever. Who knows what next week will bring? Wednesday Wimp? Wino? Wednesday Whil Wheaton (that’s for all you Family Guy fans out there) Wednesday Whodunnit? Now that’d be awesome…maybe next week, I’ll have like a mystery I need you guys to solve. I don’t know. Whatever.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday Winner?
I know, you guys. I know you’re expecting to see a bright and shiny Wednesday Winner introduction [HERE] and then you’d want to see a funny picture of the chosen winner [HERE].
And then I would ramble on about why such-and-such is a winner [HERE]. (Immediately followed by a hilarious side note [HERE].) Then I’d close with a nonsensical “Congratulations”, and an earnest plea to the winner to enjoy the meaningless adulations [HERE].
It was such a perfect plan! People were actually HAPPY to be chosen week to week. (I’m assuming, of course. I have not received any word of acknowledgment from Miss Aniston). And I love my Wednesday Winners, I truly do.
However: I do not love the guilt trips that have increased ten-fold in the past couple weeks when I have overlooked someone.
I don’t have the stomach for this, people. (Once, I thought I had really strong stomach so I watched a surgery on TV. However, I then realized it was NOT strong when the surgeon sliced off a face and let it dangle on the patient’s neck while they repaired some bones. Oh, hello there, Toilet Bowl!) At any rate, I’ve started losing sleep over this. I thought it would be all sunshiney bribes, celebrity endorsement, and free shoes. Instead, it has turned into cloudy anger, hurt feelings and cold shoulders. Talk about your all time backfires…
I know what you’re thinking: Pharon, I couldn’t possibly care less about this. What are you getting at? Well, Antsy Nancy, I’m trying to tell you that...
I may be retiring the Wednesday Winners.
It's a tough choice for me, though. On the one hand, most people LOOOVE the Wednesday Winner. Especially when/if they know the winner or agree. However, too many people are missing the point of this feature, and maybe I have missed the mark a little bit. "Say whaaaaa? Pharon, you don't MAKE mistakes." People, I am but a human. And to err is human.
But, before I go gettin’ all Cancel Crazy, I wanted your input. Yes, dear reader, YOUR input. See the options below and let me know in the comments, on Twitter, or via email what you think (Remember that time I tried to do a poll and it nearly ruined everyone’s lives? Yeah, that’s why we must do it this way now. Thanks for nothing, Blogger). So, see the various options below. Then tell me what the eff you think I should do...
* I've got a WAAAY BETTER idea...I'll tell you in the comments!
* Continue Wednesday Winner
* Maybe Wednesday Weirdos?
* Consider Friday Failures
* What's with the Days of the Week crap? Forget the whole concept!
* Wait, did you really say something up there about a person having their face peeled down onto their neck? Eeesh. I don't care what you do, I'm never reading this blog again.
What do you guys think, huh? I need your feedback. Help me help you. You can comment below the awesome video, send me a tweet (@pharonlundquist), graffiti up my Facebook wall, or just email me. Don't disappoint me...OR your country.
And then I would ramble on about why such-and-such is a winner [HERE]. (Immediately followed by a hilarious side note [HERE].) Then I’d close with a nonsensical “Congratulations”, and an earnest plea to the winner to enjoy the meaningless adulations [HERE].
It was such a perfect plan! People were actually HAPPY to be chosen week to week. (I’m assuming, of course. I have not received any word of acknowledgment from Miss Aniston). And I love my Wednesday Winners, I truly do.
However: I do not love the guilt trips that have increased ten-fold in the past couple weeks when I have overlooked someone.
I don’t have the stomach for this, people. (Once, I thought I had really strong stomach so I watched a surgery on TV. However, I then realized it was NOT strong when the surgeon sliced off a face and let it dangle on the patient’s neck while they repaired some bones. Oh, hello there, Toilet Bowl!) At any rate, I’ve started losing sleep over this. I thought it would be all sunshiney bribes, celebrity endorsement, and free shoes. Instead, it has turned into cloudy anger, hurt feelings and cold shoulders. Talk about your all time backfires…
I know what you’re thinking: Pharon, I couldn’t possibly care less about this. What are you getting at? Well, Antsy Nancy, I’m trying to tell you that...
I may be retiring the Wednesday Winners.
It's a tough choice for me, though. On the one hand, most people LOOOVE the Wednesday Winner. Especially when/if they know the winner or agree. However, too many people are missing the point of this feature, and maybe I have missed the mark a little bit. "Say whaaaaa? Pharon, you don't MAKE mistakes." People, I am but a human. And to err is human.
But, before I go gettin’ all Cancel Crazy, I wanted your input. Yes, dear reader, YOUR input. See the options below and let me know in the comments, on Twitter, or via email what you think (Remember that time I tried to do a poll and it nearly ruined everyone’s lives? Yeah, that’s why we must do it this way now. Thanks for nothing, Blogger). So, see the various options below. Then tell me what the eff you think I should do...
* I've got a WAAAY BETTER idea...I'll tell you in the comments!
* Continue Wednesday Winner
* Maybe Wednesday Weirdos?
* Consider Friday Failures
* What's with the Days of the Week crap? Forget the whole concept!
* Wait, did you really say something up there about a person having their face peeled down onto their neck? Eeesh. I don't care what you do, I'm never reading this blog again.
What do you guys think, huh? I need your feedback. Help me help you. You can comment below the awesome video, send me a tweet (@pharonlundquist), graffiti up my Facebook wall, or just email me. Don't disappoint me...OR your country.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
My Tongue is Killing Me
So, I’ve got the urge tonight to use this blog for evil, instead of good. Lately, I’ve been biting my tongue a lot, and I’m not exactly good at that. I can’t taste spicy foods anymore cause I bit that part clean off. And now, given the platform, I’m tempted to just let loose with a list of things and people who I want to either go away or be completely different. Rude, right? Yeah, I know. But it’s who I am, people. I just can’t be hilarious and nice all the time. I am but a human.
These past few days have reaaalllly tested my “Blogger Oath” to not just write about things I hate or people who are dumb, because I‘ve found myself alternating between screaming and crying at least a dozen times. Maybe it’s because I’m a product of Minnesota Nice, but I try to avoid actual confrontation at all costs. And when someone or something really irks me, I have a really difficult time communicating that. Well, communicating that as an adult. I’ve got a biting passive-aggressiveness that makes even me uncomfortable. And usually it’s either that, or the much-dreaded silent treatment.
Okay, so I’m working on all that, obvs. No one likes a passive-aggressive mute. Instead, I’ve been trying this little thing where I DON’T get all worked up over an annoying phone call at work, or when someone is late, or when I’M late and driving behind Grandma Moses. Geo once told me that his dad says “It’s not worth getting mad at someone/something you can’t control, unless it’s costing you money.” I’m trying to live by that. But there’s this gnawing urge I have to correct people who I believe are wrong, or to explain to them how annoying they can be. Enter: Me, the passive-aggressive beyotch. “I really should tell Beatrice (not her real name) that she needs to type softer on her computer (not a real situation) because really everyone hates her. I mean IT. Everyone hates IT. And she shouldn‘t have to live like that” I feel like it’s a public service I’m doomed to fulfill.
What do other people do? Do you guys really just, like, let things go? Live and let live? Am I really that terrible for getting so frustrated about dumb (and sometimes NOT dumb, but TOTALLY legit) things? Well, I’m listening to a lot of really hardcore rap these days to calm my spazzing nerves. Listening to it makes me feel like “Hey, you know what? Life on the streets probably AIN’T easy. And none of my homies are on death row. So I guess having to sit next to Loudest Talker Ever on the bus might not be that big of a deal.” It’s quite therapeutic, actually. There’s nothing passive about their aggressiveness. Aw man, now I wish I was a rapper.
Happy weekend!
These past few days have reaaalllly tested my “Blogger Oath” to not just write about things I hate or people who are dumb, because I‘ve found myself alternating between screaming and crying at least a dozen times. Maybe it’s because I’m a product of Minnesota Nice, but I try to avoid actual confrontation at all costs. And when someone or something really irks me, I have a really difficult time communicating that. Well, communicating that as an adult. I’ve got a biting passive-aggressiveness that makes even me uncomfortable. And usually it’s either that, or the much-dreaded silent treatment.
Okay, so I’m working on all that, obvs. No one likes a passive-aggressive mute. Instead, I’ve been trying this little thing where I DON’T get all worked up over an annoying phone call at work, or when someone is late, or when I’M late and driving behind Grandma Moses. Geo once told me that his dad says “It’s not worth getting mad at someone/something you can’t control, unless it’s costing you money.” I’m trying to live by that. But there’s this gnawing urge I have to correct people who I believe are wrong, or to explain to them how annoying they can be. Enter: Me, the passive-aggressive beyotch. “I really should tell Beatrice (not her real name) that she needs to type softer on her computer (not a real situation) because really everyone hates her. I mean IT. Everyone hates IT. And she shouldn‘t have to live like that” I feel like it’s a public service I’m doomed to fulfill.
What do other people do? Do you guys really just, like, let things go? Live and let live? Am I really that terrible for getting so frustrated about dumb (and sometimes NOT dumb, but TOTALLY legit) things? Well, I’m listening to a lot of really hardcore rap these days to calm my spazzing nerves. Listening to it makes me feel like “Hey, you know what? Life on the streets probably AIN’T easy. And none of my homies are on death row. So I guess having to sit next to Loudest Talker Ever on the bus might not be that big of a deal.” It’s quite therapeutic, actually. There’s nothing passive about their aggressiveness. Aw man, now I wish I was a rapper.
Happy weekend!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Titles are Hard
(Quick Prologue: This has GOT to be fate! As I was writing my blog tonight, I got an email from Kate Spade alerting me that they now have BOOK OF THE MONTH clutches. PURSES, shaped like NOVELS. Seriously. It simply doesn't get better than Book Clutches.) Okay, continuing on...
Should I be writing a memoir? I learned today that Justin Bieber has a memoir coming out (First Step 2 Forever. Um…okay). Really? Really, Justin Bieber? Okay, well, it seems that I too am qualified to pen a memoir.
First thing’s first. I have to have a great title. It should be punny, as I just really love puns. Pharon Nuff (say it fast)? I could also name it something really heavy and serious to totally mess with the readers. The Tragedy of Misfortune – and it’d be, like, hilarious. Or maybe something like Eat Drink Love (Then Eat Again…and Probably Drink Again)? I don’t know. Okay, let’s not start with the title. Titles are hard.
Now, what’s happened in my life that warrants a good memoir? My sister Prinna is working on hers. She’s one of those pesky “legitimate writers” who has all this "talent" and “material” to put down onto paper that actual people will want to “read”. Annoying.
The problem is, I haven’t learned any great truths in my life (yet), and I’m not a multi-millionaire, platinum-record selling, international superstar (yet). If I were to write a memoir right now, it’d be about what I’m having for lunch today and what my lunch may consist of tomorrow. Not exactly page-turning stuff, folks.
Yes, I realize there is irony in blogging daily about things that basically boil down to things like “what I had for lunch”, and then writing about how I’d have nothing to write about if someone actually asked me to write about something. I get it. But penning an actual BOOK, on paper, that has a binding and sticker price slapped on it seems so different to me. I’ve always had a love affair with books. I love the smell of the binding, I’m one of those hated – and misunderstood – “page-folders” who turns down a corner of the page to mark my spot, and I love running my fingers over books on the shelf and feeling their rough, tangible covers.
So, to put something together that would sit on someone’s bookshelf seems like such an incredible feat to me. I wonder if people think about this when they write their memoirs. Did Paris Hilton take note of the texture of the pages as she signed the zillions of copies she sold? I doubt it.
But I started reading a memoir tonight called The Glass Castle (which I HIGHLY recommend!) and I caught myself remembering the way my mom’s top dresser drawer always smelled just like her Estee Lauder perfume, and I couldn’t stop myself from writing down all the contents of that drawer. Which led me to write about her pair of black patent leather high heels with leaf-shaped cut-outs that I used to put on and pretend I was at a gala of some sort. I loved those shoes. And I loved that drawer. And I really loved writing about them.
But, if I end up putting those things on paper, printing the pages out and binding them, I should probably rethink the possibility of a title like Getting’ Drunk and Bein’ Irresponsible.
Should I be writing a memoir? I learned today that Justin Bieber has a memoir coming out (First Step 2 Forever. Um…okay). Really? Really, Justin Bieber? Okay, well, it seems that I too am qualified to pen a memoir.
First thing’s first. I have to have a great title. It should be punny, as I just really love puns. Pharon Nuff (say it fast)? I could also name it something really heavy and serious to totally mess with the readers. The Tragedy of Misfortune – and it’d be, like, hilarious. Or maybe something like Eat Drink Love (Then Eat Again…and Probably Drink Again)? I don’t know. Okay, let’s not start with the title. Titles are hard.
Now, what’s happened in my life that warrants a good memoir? My sister Prinna is working on hers. She’s one of those pesky “legitimate writers” who has all this "talent" and “material” to put down onto paper that actual people will want to “read”. Annoying.
The problem is, I haven’t learned any great truths in my life (yet), and I’m not a multi-millionaire, platinum-record selling, international superstar (yet). If I were to write a memoir right now, it’d be about what I’m having for lunch today and what my lunch may consist of tomorrow. Not exactly page-turning stuff, folks.
Yes, I realize there is irony in blogging daily about things that basically boil down to things like “what I had for lunch”, and then writing about how I’d have nothing to write about if someone actually asked me to write about something. I get it. But penning an actual BOOK, on paper, that has a binding and sticker price slapped on it seems so different to me. I’ve always had a love affair with books. I love the smell of the binding, I’m one of those hated – and misunderstood – “page-folders” who turns down a corner of the page to mark my spot, and I love running my fingers over books on the shelf and feeling their rough, tangible covers.
So, to put something together that would sit on someone’s bookshelf seems like such an incredible feat to me. I wonder if people think about this when they write their memoirs. Did Paris Hilton take note of the texture of the pages as she signed the zillions of copies she sold? I doubt it.
But I started reading a memoir tonight called The Glass Castle (which I HIGHLY recommend!) and I caught myself remembering the way my mom’s top dresser drawer always smelled just like her Estee Lauder perfume, and I couldn’t stop myself from writing down all the contents of that drawer. Which led me to write about her pair of black patent leather high heels with leaf-shaped cut-outs that I used to put on and pretend I was at a gala of some sort. I loved those shoes. And I loved that drawer. And I really loved writing about them.
But, if I end up putting those things on paper, printing the pages out and binding them, I should probably rethink the possibility of a title like Getting’ Drunk and Bein’ Irresponsible.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Let's Do This Thing!
Oh man. The pressure of my First Post! What's a girl to say? Initially I thought about posting a video of a Brazilian toddler dancing on table. I mean, it's totally hilarious, and well worth the click. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxOalIK6fSI). Okay, fine, so my first blog is a link to a You Tube video. I can't help it. I'm totally a sucker for viral videos. Let's get down to business, though.
I suppose it's only proper blog-equette (yeah, that's a word now) to pitch my blog to you, the wary reader. First, pharon square is pretty much a fun place to hang out. Someday, I would love it to be an actual place, (you know, like a gigantic square in the heart of Minneapolis, lined with Kate Spade stores, wrapping paper boutiques, and neighborhood bars that always have Happy Hour specials) but for now, it'll be a place where I write about all that good stuff. And also things that I just don't get. Like composting. More on that to come...
Basically, the gist of all this is that I'm tripping my way through the end of my twenties. I'm part of that ragtag group of women who are just getting over yesterday, and only planning what we'll doing tonight. I feel like the TMZ version of a human. Every day something happens that makes yesterday or tomorrow fall off the Top Stories list. Let's just focus on today.
So, today I started a blog.
I suppose it's only proper blog-equette (yeah, that's a word now) to pitch my blog to you, the wary reader. First, pharon square is pretty much a fun place to hang out. Someday, I would love it to be an actual place, (you know, like a gigantic square in the heart of Minneapolis, lined with Kate Spade stores, wrapping paper boutiques, and neighborhood bars that always have Happy Hour specials) but for now, it'll be a place where I write about all that good stuff. And also things that I just don't get. Like composting. More on that to come...
Basically, the gist of all this is that I'm tripping my way through the end of my twenties. I'm part of that ragtag group of women who are just getting over yesterday, and only planning what we'll doing tonight. I feel like the TMZ version of a human. Every day something happens that makes yesterday or tomorrow fall off the Top Stories list. Let's just focus on today.
So, today I started a blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)