Wednesday Winner?

I know, you guys. I know you’re expecting to see a bright and shiny Wednesday Winner introduction [HERE] and then you’d want to see a funny picture of the chosen winner [HERE].

And then I would ramble on about why such-and-such is a winner [HERE]. (Immediately followed by a hilarious side note [HERE].) Then I’d close with a nonsensical “Congratulations”, and an earnest plea to the winner to enjoy the meaningless adulations [HERE].

It was such a perfect plan! People were actually HAPPY to be chosen week to week. (I’m assuming, of course. I have not received any word of acknowledgment from Miss Aniston). And I love my Wednesday Winners, I truly do.

However: I do not love the guilt trips that have increased ten-fold in the past couple weeks when I have overlooked someone.

I don’t have the stomach for this, people. (Once, I thought I had really strong stomach so I watched a surgery on TV. However, I then realized it was NOT strong when the surgeon sliced off a face and let it dangle on the patient’s neck while they repaired some bones. Oh, hello there, Toilet Bowl!) At any rate, I’ve started losing sleep over this. I thought it would be all sunshiney bribes, celebrity endorsement, and free shoes. Instead, it has turned into cloudy anger, hurt feelings and cold shoulders. Talk about your all time backfires…

I know what you’re thinking: Pharon, I couldn’t possibly care less about this. What are you getting at? Well, Antsy Nancy, I’m trying to tell you that...

I may be retiring the Wednesday Winners.

It's a tough choice for me, though. On the one hand, most people LOOOVE the Wednesday Winner. Especially when/if they know the winner or agree. However, too many people are missing the point of this feature, and maybe I have missed the mark a little bit. "Say whaaaaa? Pharon, you don't MAKE mistakes." People, I am but a human. And to err is human.

But, before I go gettin’ all Cancel Crazy, I wanted your input. Yes, dear reader, YOUR input. See the options below and let me know in the comments, on Twitter, or via email what you think (Remember that time I tried to do a poll and it nearly ruined everyone’s lives? Yeah, that’s why we must do it this way now. Thanks for nothing, Blogger). So, see the various options below. Then tell me what the eff you think I should do...

* I've got a WAAAY BETTER idea...I'll tell you in the comments!
* Continue Wednesday Winner
* Maybe Wednesday Weirdos?
* Consider Friday Failures
* What's with the Days of the Week crap? Forget the whole concept!
* Wait, did you really say something up there about a person having their face peeled down onto their neck? Eeesh. I don't care what you do, I'm never reading this blog again.

What do you guys think, huh? I need your feedback. Help me help you. You can comment below the awesome video, send me a tweet (@pharonlundquist), graffiti up my Facebook wall, or just email me. Don't disappoint me...OR your country.