Wednesday Winner

Dude, I thought Wednesday Winners would be, like, the easiest blogs to write of the week because I would KNOW what to write about. Not so this week. I was stumped. I sat down and wrote a whole blog about the Chilean Miners, but it ended up so serious, which made my eye twitch. So I reached out for help. I sent out an email to a bunch of people, asking for them to suggest a great Wednesday Winner. Well, apparently, people are tooooooo busy today, and I only got a fraction of the responses back.

At any rate, below are the possible winners, as nominated by my peers. I have devised a highly elaborate and precise rating system to declare the winner. The system is based on Creativity, Passion, Accuracy, Deservedness of the nominee THIS WEEK, and finally Chutzpa of the Nominator. Scoring is totally and completely subjective. And awaaaay we go!

Perek: “Christopher Columbus – For Making it To India”
Creativity-5
Passion-2
Accuracy-0
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=16 points
Ally: “ME! - Cause I’m an awesome zombie!”
Creativity-3
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=19 points
Kim: "I can't think of any winners. I can only think of losers."
Creativity-0
Passion-0
Accuracy-2
Deservedness-0
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=7 points
Madeline: “Xtina Aguilera – For finally breaking up with her ugly husband”
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-4
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=19 points
Tina: "The dinner Pharon made tonight - It looked sooooo good! Much better than my mac n' cheese!"
Creativity-4
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-1
Chutzpa-4
TOTAL=17 points
Sanna: "Rob Dyrdek - Because he's the love of my life and he has more fun than anyone in the world."
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-3
TOTAL=18 points
Geo: “Texas Rangers - First playoff series win ever!  Plus one of the guys on the team is an alcoholic so he wasnt partaking in the celebration with all of the champagne and stuff but his nice teammates attacked him with tons of ginger ale.”
Creativity-4
Passion-4
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-4 (Because no one likes Texas)
TOTAL=18 points
Claire: “Chilean Miners - Especially the one that had the mistress and the wife and the wife only found out after the mine accident.”
Creativity-2
Passion-3
Accuracy-5
Deservedness-5
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points
Cindi: “Sarah Abt [my aunt].......because A. She wants it SO BAD, B. She will quit b bugging you, C. She rarely gets offended at anything you might say, and D. She wants it SO BAD”
Creativity-4
Passion-5
Accuracy-4
Deservedness-2
Chutzpa-5
TOTAL=20 points

Gah! We have a tie! It's down to My aunt Sarah and the Chilean Miners. God, there are JUST SO SIMILAR! This is a toughie. But for THIS week, I'm going to have to say congratulations to:



No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Chilean Miners totally ruled this week! Plus, I just got word that they've alllllll been rescued by that giant Tylenol capsule! Way to go, bros! You brought the world together, and we are a better place for it. Chi! Chi! Chi! Le! Le! Le!