The Dirty Deets

Okay, so there I was, standing in the floor cleaning aisle at Target. I know my floors are dirty. I mean, not like VISIBLY dirty, I don't think, but I know they are dirty. I mean, I've never washed them and my lease is almost up, so my guess is that they are not the cleanest. And sometimes I'll drop a noodle on the floor and still eat it, so really I need to clean them.

I got my lease renewal reminder in the mail this weekend. I have lived in this tiny oasis for about 10 months now and it made me realize a few things. 1) I still have boxes unpacked under my bed. 2) I still am not quite sure how my heating and air conditioning works. 3) I've never ever washed the wood floors that drew me in to this place in the first place.

I've SWEPT my floors. Like obsessively. They get super dusty because I also never dust, so I'll spend a lot of time sweeping balls of dust from underneath my sofa and behind my book case. And shockingly, there's a lot of dust built up in and around my oven/stove area so I get that spot as well. But washing the floors is something that Claire used to do in her house, and something that no one used to do in the house I lived in before that. (Hmm, I had mice in that house, but not in Claire's. Coincidence?) I guess I never got used to doing it.

But yeah, so there I was in the floor cleaning aisle at Target. I had some delicious Greek frozen yogurt in my basket, so time was of the essence. Um, there were too many choices. I consulted my apartment move-in packet before heading out to the store, and they recommended some fancy-shmancy brand name stuff I'd never heard of. All I wanted was a mop that was self-powered and self-cleaning. How was I supposed to know that I needed to find some special solution that works on whatever fake wood is passing as hardwood in my apartment? (Note: The wood is NOT "hard" wood...I dropped my keys on the floor once and they made a dent. Quality.)

Anyways, I found a suitable stick with wet pads on the end of it with which to clean my floor and wondered it this was the mop to bring home with me. Could it handle me? Would it tattle to the tabloids about the dirt it finds under my craft cart? The two women (sorry, I know it's stereotypical, but I can't change the facts) who came barreling into the aisle while I was looking came and went in the blink of an eye and I knew I was over thinking it. I plucked a stick dealie from the display with confidence. Then I looked and the stick dealie was 30-frickin-bucks! WHAT?! It was nothing but a rod that you'd stick wet pads to! I could make that with a curtain rod and the roll of paper towels that fell in the kitchen sink earlier this week.

Then another chick came and went and I decided I was SUPER over thinking it. So I grabbed a less impressive stick thing that was green for $15 and hauled a$$ out of the floor cleaning aisle and back into the welcoming arms of the bread aisle.

The stick thing is still propped up against the wall in my hallway. I knock it over every single time I either walk to/from the kitchen and every time I open or close my front door. So, about 53 times a day, I pick up the crappy, unused green stick, prop it back up and then be all "Ugh, why did I BUY that thing?"

So,whatever. I haven't cleaned my floors yet and my noodles are getting dirtier and dirtier. Oh well, it's still only 35 degrees in Minnesota, so I feel totally justified in putting off my Spring Cleaning until my lease expires and the dirty floor becomes some other shmuck's problem.