That's Cold, Bro

If you live in Minnesota, I don't need to tell you how miserable the weather has been lately. If you live outside of Minnesota? Clear out the spare room because I'm moving in. The absolute dreariness of this nightmare of a spring has been positively wrist-slitting. When it's not cold, it's raining. If it's not raining, it's snowing. I hate it here. And my big bay window that was supposed to be a great way to enjoy natural light and regular doses of vitamin D is actually more like a gaping wound exposing the pus-filled, disgusting mess that persists like a fungus.

I hate it here right now.

So you can imagine how wonderful it was when my friend Ally came into town for the weekend! It's like she had a rainbow coming out of her butt, given how much she brightened my day. She lives in Mexico now so she was all tan and happy and doesn't have that same "I might stab you" look that so many people in Minnesota have right now. Plus, she's pregnant so that glow she had goin' on was the real deal. But then I got bummed again because I only got that little bright and fun respite for one day.

Anyways, I never thought I was one of those people who got down because of the weather. I mean, I complain about it but I never got, like, depressed. But this winter has been different. The lack of warmth and sunlight has made me a dry, crackly, rigid mess. And with no end in sight, I don't know what to do except try and never look or go outside.

It's why I've been pretty bad at blogging lately. It's why I've been incapable of making a decision about flowers for the wedding. It's why I spend evenings curled up in blankets on the couch, gradually working myself into an angry, stressed out frenzy about any given thing instead of going out and being social. I'm like a hermit who just sits in my small apartment, freaking out about the wedding and not speaking to another soul all day.

So, not only am I depressed, but my hair is perpetually in a laid-in ponytail, I wear sweatpants AND sweatshirts at the same time, and skin is all wrinkly from laying on the sheets of my bed all night every night. My refrigerator only has applesauce, some old lemons and a sample packet of Famous Dave's BBQ sauce in it because I can't be bothered to grocery shop or put together a real meal. I actually watched golf this weekend, too. Ugh. I'm one Xbox headset away from being a middle-aged bachelor.

So yeah, I think my only option is to move to Mexico. See you soon, Ally!