Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Story Hour! Finale!

Last week on Story Hour: Louann has finally left the island and, under the cover of night, escaped to an abandoned warehouse on the mainland. She has a box of papers she managed to steal from her father’s boat. The documents include bank statements as well as her mother’s will which apparently writes out a horrible secret. Xavier is dead, though we don’t know why, and Louann’s parents don’t seem to give two hoots that Louann has been gone for four nights. Suddenly the cops show up to Louann’s parents house, alluding to the fact that Louann is not just missing: She could be in DANGER. Dun dun duuuunnnnnnn!

Lou and Ann sat with the police officers as they all sipped on the lukewarm coffee the maid had made earlier in the morning. The bigger guy, Officer Leroy, spoke first. “Ma’am, I don’t think you understand just what kind of danger she may be caught up in. She's gotten mixed up with some bad dudes. One of whom was shot dead on a boat belonging to you, Mr. Lou Reynolds.”

Lou choked on his coffee. “On...MY boat? I haven’t heard of any troubles at the yacht and we were just there a few nights ago. You’ve got some bunk info there, man.” The smaller officer, Officer Tomcat (yeah, I don’t know) continued, “I assure you, sir, our info is, eh hem, bunkless. A man was fatally shot on your boat. Come to think of it, you should probably have been contacted awhile ago and also maybe questioned, but clearly we overlooked that detail. Anyhoozle, the man’s name was Xavier.”

Ann suddenly gasped. “Xavier?? Is, he’s, wait. He’s dead? Are you sure? He just CAN’T be dead! Oh my poor Xavier! How I loved you!” Ann sobbed, the mascara dripping down her face like cobwebs. Everyone around her stayed silent.

Ann dramatically stood up and went to the window. Unprovoked, she began waxing nostalgic about her relationship her daughter’s friend. “Oh Xavier. How I loved him! He played hard-to-get with me, but I knew he’d be mine. I knew he’d fall in love with me once we were alone. That’s why I hired him to kill my husband.”

Lou frowned.

She continued, “Xavier was to come to the yacht while we were on our date and shoot Lou. Then we were to be alone together with all of Lou’s money!” She collapsed to the ground and sobbed, “But he never came! He NEVER CAME!”

Back in the warehouse, Louann was ready to set her box of papers on fire. She read her mother’s will one more time before tossing it into the flames. In it, Ann confessed that Louann was not Lou’s real daughter, and therefore deserved none of his inheritance. So if Ann dies, so do Louann’s chances at her father’s money. That’s why it was imperative for Louann to get the box that night on the yacht. She too had hired Xavier to kill someone. Her parents. Then all their money would be hers and hers alone. She would run off and live happily ever after.

But Xavier was late that night on the boat. He knew Ann wanted him to kill Lou, and he knew Louann wanted him to kill both her parents. He was confused and fell asleep. When he woke up, he sprinted to the yacht. He hadn’t decided who to kill yet, so he thought he’d just wing it. When he got there, Lou and Ann had long since gone home. He found Louann, rummaging through a box of papers. He scared her and she screamed. Xavier was both frightened and still a little bit sleepy and he reflexively shot the gun.

The bullet ricocheted around the boat. He started crying. “I don’t know what to do, Louann! First your mom wants me to kill your dad, and then you want me to kill both your parents…and you didn’t even pay me as much as your mother did!” Suddenly he composed himself. Remembering the money Louann shorted him, he held the gun at Louann’s head.

A fight broke out, with both Louann and Xavier reaching for the gun. Louann’s manicured fingers finally got a hold of the gun. She pointed it at Xavier and squeezed. He fell to the ground, and she fled for the island.

In the end, no one would be arrested for the murder of Xavier. In fact, the cops were relieved that Xavier, who had been behind many murder-for-hire cases, was finally out of the picture. As for Lou and Ann? They stayed together. Oddly enough, the excitement of everything rekindled the ol’ flame. Louann returned home to her parents house for a short time. Then, with the help of all the money she made from her Bra Brace invention she had Macgyver’d on the island, she moved out for good and went searching for her real father.

The. End.


Grandmaman said...

ALMOST as crazy and twisted as a true LIFETIME movie on TV! I would watch it!

Anonymous said...

OK you are officially nuts!
That was entertaining. I guess I am more interested where you were sitting when you wrote it and whether you were totally immersed in the story. Do you have an out of body experience when you write stuff like that? Or just drink some wine and go with the flow? Become the character? or one of the characters?

Well done! and to think those people scoffed at your girl that had to pee in the water idea! Their LOSS!