Monday, June 3, 2013

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiirball! Aiiiiiiiiiiirball!

Geo wants me to rename my blog. He thinks it should be called "Pharon Square featuring 'The Wild and Wonderful Geoffrey'." I was pretty sure THAT was the worst idea of all time until he started spitballing some "blog ideas" at me.

All of his horrible ideas had to do with basketball, and more specifically the Miami Heat. He was all "You could write about Lebron James. Or Dwyane Wade. Or how good the Heat is and how they made it to the playoffs and they'll totally win."

There are a couple reasons that these were all bad ideas. First and foremost, how many people actually write a whole blog about one stupid basketball player? (Answer according to Google: 101,000,000.) (Also: I do realize that my last two posts were each dedicated to a celebrity far less successful than James.) But secondly, they were bad ideas because I hate basketball. Wanna know why? I'm glad you asked...

Basketball is dumb because the most exciting thing that could happen is that a person does NOT score a point. Has anyone else figured out the fact that scoring should be difficult, hence the reference to it being a "goal" in other sports? Am I crazy?

Secondly, there are a BILLION POINTS scored every game. ONE BILLION. So like one second the game is 23 to 25 and the next it's one billion to one million. Who can keep up? More importantly, why would anyone spend the whole game watching when it really only comes down to the last couple minutes? It's like Law and Order: SVU. You check in at the beginning to see who's playing, and then you can totally zone out for the three-quarters of the show because you know the final twist doesn't come until the last 15 minutes.

Finally, writing about basketball is dumb because I do not get it. Even though I was a basketball cheerleader for 2 (count 'em TWO) seasons in high school, much of the game's purpose was lost on me. I thought traveling meant moving your feet without dribbling. I thought double-dribbling meant alternating hands while dribbling and couldn't understand why that would be bad. I don't understand why some guys get two free throws and others get three. I used to think that white men were incapable of dunking, AND I thought you could wear the same pair of shoes for more than one game.

Anyway, that's why it would be dumb for me to write a blog about basketball.

1 comment:

Madeline Solien said...

You should definitely not add in "the wild and wonderful geoffrey" because then I just picture you writing a fanblog all about geoffrey from Game of Thrones..and I really can't get behind that