It is an auspicious day in the Pharon Square household, folks. After days of Geo moping around the house, antsy and asking me to do a thousand different things when all I really want to do is stroll around the house making lists of things to pack - the insanity has ended. Last week, Geo's XBOX died. He got the much-dreaded "red circle" which signaled the demise of his gaming console and best friend. After a week of researching his replacement options, a lot of pacing, and call after call of support, he made the decision to replace it. He gingerly packed it all up to trade it in for a new one, left for GameStop, and came home looking like a dog who found the treat cupboard.
Usually, I consider men more hasty and rough than women. That, I believe, is all true until it comes to his gaming console. Geo set the bag on the couch, and I immediately tore into it like it was a bag of bagels. He's all "Hey! Stop it! I'm bringing it upstairs! Don't open it!" Sheesh...so sensitive. Then his eyes got all twinkly and he said the words every woman longs to hear. "Wanna come watch me set it up??" Swoon.
So, out of sheer curiosity, I follow him upstairs. Here's where it gets just, like, weird. He sets the bag on his bed. Carefully removes the box. Sets that on the bed and just kind of looks at it. Is he going to cry? Ooof, almost. He opens the box, and plucks each piece, each cord, each accessory out and sets each on the bed. Then he does what I've never seen any man do before.
He takes out the instructions and reads them.
He's not taking any chances, he assures me. He's not going to mess this up before he even gets to play his first round of Call of Duty. So, finally, he unwraps everything and is piecing it all together.
It's all a very dainty process. The careful unraveling of the headset, the slow removal of the protective plastic strips, the care with which he hugs the console as he walks it across the room. So slow. So methodical. So...girlie.
"Dude!" (I turn into "dude" when he talks about guy stuff to me) "This new controller is SO clean! Look at the black console! It makes my old white XBOX look like a marshmallow!" I make a helpful comment about going black and no longer having the desire to return.
He's looking for a spot to set the XBOX. With his old one, he'd just kind of set it on a pile of dirty laundry and didn't care if it toppled to the side. But this one, he weighs the options of putting it next to the TV (no, too close to the window - what if it rains?!) and setting it in between a couple pieces of furniture (no, it might get too hot) before basically nestling it near the wall. So much to think about...
Finally, he sits in his XBOX chair and starts the whole thing up. In his eyes, I disappear from the room as the glowing screen and familiar clicks and swoosh sounds come back. I'm pretty sure he's not talking to me when he mumbles "Oh God, you are awesome."
So, now it's back to peace and quiet on the main floor of our house. I must admit it's kind of nice to have the routine restored. It was very unsettling seeing a man be so delicate and cautious with something that isn't a bomb or, like, a really messy burrito. Now he's upstairs screaming "GET THE CARE PACKAGE! WATCH OUT! UGH, YOU MORON, STOP GETTING SHOT!" and other manly man-isms. Though, I can't guarantee he won't sleep with the controller under his pillow...
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Pod-dy Mouth
Ugh. Mondays. Amiright?? Yeah, I'm right. Pretty much the only thing that gets me through the first long day of the work week is my podcasts. They're like my versions of soap operas. My Stories, if you will. And Mondays are the days when they're all new. So, back-to-back-to-back podcasts is the name of the game.
I like to up my hipster/smarty pants street cred by starting with a little This American Life. Then I catch up on the "news" with Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Then it's off to science class with The Skeptics Guide to the Universe. It's freakishly regimented. At this point in the day, I'm feeling all well-rounded and whatnot.
Then it's on to WTF Podcast with Marc Maron. That's where it gets all nitty gritty, down and dirty, crude and rude. It's like one of the funniest podcasts ever. Basically, this dude Marc Maron has been in the Stand-Up Comedy circuit for like a billion years (or, like 30). He knows everybody who has ever stepped foot in an open mic night. He's tight friends with Louis C.K. He met with Charlie Sheen to give some insight on the crazy. He's hated and envied and gotten drunk with seriously every comic ever. So, he's good stuff to listen to.
What you should be prepared for: He's intensely neurotic. He's got serious issues with his parents, his ex-wives, booze (he's been sober for over 10 years, but still loves to reminisce about the hazy nights of the past), everything. He talks incessantly about who he thinks does and does not deserve to be a famous comedian. He waxes nostalgic about the good ol' days of comedy at length. But, still, he's endearing. Is it the fact that he podcasts in his own GARAGE, which he calls the Cat Ranch because there are cats everywhere? Probably. I mean, he just has people like Ben Stiller come and chill in his garage and after his own round of neurosis has subsided, he somehow gets people like Conan O'Brien to talk about their childhood, and what it REALLY felt like to be shot down by NBC. It's intimate. And it's hilarious.
Lately, Marc Maron has been popping up everywhere: The Onion's A.V. Club, Entertainment Weekly, blah blah blah. He's been doing his podcast for a few years now, and I started listening last year. Therefore, I'm pretty sure I can take a hefty dose of credit for that. Nevermind his crazy work ethic, and his unfailing dedication to the craft of comedy. Nah, it's probably the fact that I listen every Monday (and Thursday!) and make other people listen to him all the time.
Anyway, I need some more podcasts to listen to. I'm all done with my Monday shows, and I need something for Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. Do you guys listen to podcasts? What's good? What don't I know about? Most importantly, though, go listen to all those podcasts I mentioned. They will learn ya some lessons, and put a chuckle in your buckle. (What? Who says that?! Me, I guess.) But seriously folks, what podcasts are out there that are Must Listens?
I like to up my hipster/smarty pants street cred by starting with a little This American Life. Then I catch up on the "news" with Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Then it's off to science class with The Skeptics Guide to the Universe. It's freakishly regimented. At this point in the day, I'm feeling all well-rounded and whatnot.
Then it's on to WTF Podcast with Marc Maron. That's where it gets all nitty gritty, down and dirty, crude and rude. It's like one of the funniest podcasts ever. Basically, this dude Marc Maron has been in the Stand-Up Comedy circuit for like a billion years (or, like 30). He knows everybody who has ever stepped foot in an open mic night. He's tight friends with Louis C.K. He met with Charlie Sheen to give some insight on the crazy. He's hated and envied and gotten drunk with seriously every comic ever. So, he's good stuff to listen to.
What you should be prepared for: He's intensely neurotic. He's got serious issues with his parents, his ex-wives, booze (he's been sober for over 10 years, but still loves to reminisce about the hazy nights of the past), everything. He talks incessantly about who he thinks does and does not deserve to be a famous comedian. He waxes nostalgic about the good ol' days of comedy at length. But, still, he's endearing. Is it the fact that he podcasts in his own GARAGE, which he calls the Cat Ranch because there are cats everywhere? Probably. I mean, he just has people like Ben Stiller come and chill in his garage and after his own round of neurosis has subsided, he somehow gets people like Conan O'Brien to talk about their childhood, and what it REALLY felt like to be shot down by NBC. It's intimate. And it's hilarious.
Lately, Marc Maron has been popping up everywhere: The Onion's A.V. Club, Entertainment Weekly, blah blah blah. He's been doing his podcast for a few years now, and I started listening last year. Therefore, I'm pretty sure I can take a hefty dose of credit for that. Nevermind his crazy work ethic, and his unfailing dedication to the craft of comedy. Nah, it's probably the fact that I listen every Monday (and Thursday!) and make other people listen to him all the time.
Anyway, I need some more podcasts to listen to. I'm all done with my Monday shows, and I need something for Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. Do you guys listen to podcasts? What's good? What don't I know about? Most importantly, though, go listen to all those podcasts I mentioned. They will learn ya some lessons, and put a chuckle in your buckle. (What? Who says that?! Me, I guess.) But seriously folks, what podcasts are out there that are Must Listens?
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Get on Board
My brother made a good point this weekend. Perek was all "Do you ever think, like, how weird it will be that your kids someday will be able to read all your blogs and know everything you did?" And I was all "Yeah, it'll be totally awesome. They'll know how totally cool I am." And then this weekend happened. I spent way more time than any self-respecting adult should spend playing board games. Talk about cool!
Friday night, Perek and Geo's friend KG came over and we all played the nerdiest of nerdy board games, Settlers of Catan. I don't know why I play with them. I almost NEVER win, but for some reason they still target me and try and take me out of the game early. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl? I don't get why they'd try and remove the ONLY part of their gaming experience that keeps them from being nerdy, anti-social gamers - you know, girls. I'm keeping their reps above water here.
Then we switched to Trivial Pursuit, where I really carried my team. And I did so by falling asleep halfway into the game to let Geo play in peace without me constantly interrupting him by saying "Why would ANYONE even know that question?! It's unfair. I want a new one." Pretty sure he still lost, though. Turns out, he could have really used my help with the Entertainment category. How can you NOT know that the song "Mister Cellophane" is from the musical Chicago?? Duh.
But the real fun was on Saturday night. Geo and I were randomly invited to a friend of a friend's Yahtzee party. Yeah. You read that right. It was legit, too. We went over to their house and each paid the $10 buy-in. There was a big ol' brackety chart thing showing who would move on after each round. It was the place to be apparently, and there were like 12 other people playing in the head-to-head tournament. So we settled in to our respective games and got down to business. All around the house you'd hear "YAAAHHHTTZZZEEEE!" Or, more commonly "Come oooooon.....Yahtzee! NOOO!" I lost in my first round, which was lame. I thought I was being helpful by pointing out to my opponent "Hey, don't roll again, that's Large Straight, right?! You should take that." Stupid, stupid, stupid. She beat me by like 40 points - or, the equivalent of one Large Straight. But it was surprisingly a great time. I was nervous, too, what with all the public displays of math going on around me. I thought for sure someone would call me out on my finger-counting, but no one seemed to mind. (Plus, I saw more than a couple other people tapping their fingers as well, so that was comforting. Wait, in hindsight, we really should have had an official score counter. I messed up my math at least a half dozen times because finger-counting is not always "exact" sadly.)
So, just another craaaaazy weekend under my belt. What about you? How was yours? I really hope at least one of you played some sort of analog (read: board) games so I don't feel like such a loser. (Oh, and it totally didn't help that I didn't win ANY of the games of I played, so I can't even brag about that. I think that makes me a Super Loser. Maybe I win at being the biggest loser? Will that work? Yeah, I'm going to go with that.)
Friday night, Perek and Geo's friend KG came over and we all played the nerdiest of nerdy board games, Settlers of Catan. I don't know why I play with them. I almost NEVER win, but for some reason they still target me and try and take me out of the game early. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl? I don't get why they'd try and remove the ONLY part of their gaming experience that keeps them from being nerdy, anti-social gamers - you know, girls. I'm keeping their reps above water here.
Then we switched to Trivial Pursuit, where I really carried my team. And I did so by falling asleep halfway into the game to let Geo play in peace without me constantly interrupting him by saying "Why would ANYONE even know that question?! It's unfair. I want a new one." Pretty sure he still lost, though. Turns out, he could have really used my help with the Entertainment category. How can you NOT know that the song "Mister Cellophane" is from the musical Chicago?? Duh.
But the real fun was on Saturday night. Geo and I were randomly invited to a friend of a friend's Yahtzee party. Yeah. You read that right. It was legit, too. We went over to their house and each paid the $10 buy-in. There was a big ol' brackety chart thing showing who would move on after each round. It was the place to be apparently, and there were like 12 other people playing in the head-to-head tournament. So we settled in to our respective games and got down to business. All around the house you'd hear "YAAAHHHTTZZZEEEE!" Or, more commonly "Come oooooon.....Yahtzee! NOOO!" I lost in my first round, which was lame. I thought I was being helpful by pointing out to my opponent "Hey, don't roll again, that's Large Straight, right?! You should take that." Stupid, stupid, stupid. She beat me by like 40 points - or, the equivalent of one Large Straight. But it was surprisingly a great time. I was nervous, too, what with all the public displays of math going on around me. I thought for sure someone would call me out on my finger-counting, but no one seemed to mind. (Plus, I saw more than a couple other people tapping their fingers as well, so that was comforting. Wait, in hindsight, we really should have had an official score counter. I messed up my math at least a half dozen times because finger-counting is not always "exact" sadly.)
So, just another craaaaazy weekend under my belt. What about you? How was yours? I really hope at least one of you played some sort of analog (read: board) games so I don't feel like such a loser. (Oh, and it totally didn't help that I didn't win ANY of the games of I played, so I can't even brag about that. I think that makes me a Super Loser. Maybe I win at being the biggest loser? Will that work? Yeah, I'm going to go with that.)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Would You Rather...(Yes I Would)
I gave myself a goal last weekend. Every day, I was going to pack up or clean up one area of my house. I've been doing okay with it, but I don't want to do it anymore. I'm sick of trying to find boxes, trying to decide if I'm going to keep, sell, throw, or store every stupid little doohickey in sight. Why do I have SO many vases?! In order to postpone my packing job tonight, I've decided to make a list of all the things I'd rather do than pack.
* Wear fiberglass contacts in my eyes
* Eat a diaper
* Shoe shop exclusively at Schuler Shoes
* See Carrot Top in concert
* Talk to Angelina Jolie about her tattoos
* Let a cat sleep on my face
* Go on a run around Lake Calhoun with no pants on (or, okay, even just "go on a run")
* Take a shower at the YMCA barefoot (the ghetto Y, too)
* Drink toilet water
* Play Keep Away by myself...with a grenade
* Listen to a story about algorithms
* Eat tacks
* Get trapped in a port-o-potty at a Spicy Taco Eating Contest
* Let a mosquito live in my ear
* Wear a sweater made out of barbed wire and Gary Busey's belly button lint
* Have no toe nails
* Take the Driving Test again
* Adopt a family of raccoons
* Try going blonde again
* Run into a high school boyfriend during a fat day
* Watch an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon
* Study math
* Relive puberty
* Read Twilight
* Have the Pokemon theme song stuck in my head. Forever.
* Snort a pineapple up my nose
* Be on the Titanic
* Get really into composting
* Give veganism a try
* Become besties with Heidi Montag
* Be Lindsay Lohan's agent
* Date Charlie Sheen
* Give up carbs
* Fill my iPod with only Nickelback songs
Whoa! I've gone too far. Clearly, I've gone crazy with the melodrama. Whatever. I've succeeded in putting off the packing for tonight just by writing this blog, so Huzzah! Score: Pharon - 1, Packing -0. Alright, I'm off to make another list of all the packing I've got to get done this weekend now. Hope you all have an awesome, non-packing weekend!
* Wear fiberglass contacts in my eyes
* Eat a diaper
* Shoe shop exclusively at Schuler Shoes
* See Carrot Top in concert
* Talk to Angelina Jolie about her tattoos
* Let a cat sleep on my face
* Go on a run around Lake Calhoun with no pants on (or, okay, even just "go on a run")
* Take a shower at the YMCA barefoot (the ghetto Y, too)
* Drink toilet water
* Play Keep Away by myself...with a grenade
* Listen to a story about algorithms
* Eat tacks
* Get trapped in a port-o-potty at a Spicy Taco Eating Contest
* Let a mosquito live in my ear
* Wear a sweater made out of barbed wire and Gary Busey's belly button lint
* Have no toe nails
* Take the Driving Test again
* Adopt a family of raccoons
* Try going blonde again
* Run into a high school boyfriend during a fat day
* Watch an Everybody Loves Raymond marathon
* Study math
* Relive puberty
* Read Twilight
* Have the Pokemon theme song stuck in my head. Forever.
* Snort a pineapple up my nose
* Be on the Titanic
* Get really into composting
* Give veganism a try
* Become besties with Heidi Montag
* Be Lindsay Lohan's agent
* Date Charlie Sheen
* Give up carbs
* Fill my iPod with only Nickelback songs
Whoa! I've gone too far. Clearly, I've gone crazy with the melodrama. Whatever. I've succeeded in putting off the packing for tonight just by writing this blog, so Huzzah! Score: Pharon - 1, Packing -0. Alright, I'm off to make another list of all the packing I've got to get done this weekend now. Hope you all have an awesome, non-packing weekend!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Dear Crabby
Okay, so this morning, I realized I had put my underwear on inside out. That's how my day started. When I got home, I went through and cleaned my linen closet and underneath my bed, and ended up with FOUR BAGS of trash. That's how my day ended. Clearly, I need help. But today is not about MY issues, it's about YOUR issues. Let's do this...
Dear Crabby,
So, my OCD is going crazy lately. I've spent hours after work cleaning my house and I end up missing out on hanging out with friends. I'm not like crazy OCD, I'm just wanting my house clean is all. I don't wash my hands a hundred times or tap the light switch 48 times before I can leave the house, but I've just been obsessing about making sure my place is clean and tidy lately. What do think is wrong with me? What's my problem??
Thank you!
-Overly Clean Diva
Dear OCD,
What do I think is wrong with you? Uh, I'm pretty sure you'reinsane stressed or anxious about something totally unrelated to the shine of your wood floors. And what a coincidence that your cleaning is excusing you from social situations! Call me crazy (that'd make you the pot calling me black, though), but I think you're avoiding them, OCD. What's up with that? Is your B.O. really bad or something? Are you stressed at work? Unsatisfied with your luvahhh or something? I don't know, but whatever the ish (issue, duh) is, you better fix that or you'll end up curled in a ball in your pristine house afraid of the sunlight. Get out there, lady!
Dear Crabby,
I have a huuuuuge presentation coming up at work, and I. Am. Freaked! It's for all the partners and VPs and my bosses, along with a few of my fellow agents. I've never had to do anything like this before, and I'm so nervous that I'm going to mess it up and get fired or something. I'm really prepared with the material, but I'm afraid my nerves will get the best of me. What can I do to stop spazzing and impress my bosses??
Thx!
Presentation Hesitation
What's up, P.H.?
I do NOT envy you, girlfriend. I HATE standing up and speaking in front of people. I freeze up and can't say words. Having said that, there are a few sure fire things you can do to minimize and anxiety you may have. Wear a dark shirt. That'll remove the risk of showing any offending pit stains that could overshadow your genius presentation. Don't cake on the makeup, either. It'll just drip in your eyes and down your cheek and people will think you are melting and start to wonder if you are the Wicked Witch of the West or something. And even if you feel like you've got the material down, jot down some notes with some X-rated doodles in the margins. Then you can get a little laugh if you get lost. And do you think you could maybe get away with lacing some of their waters with tequila? That'd probably help them relax which could be awesome. Other than that, just try and chill and have some confidence in yourself. And remember this: You just have to get through it and then you can go home and cry and drink wine or whatever and it'll be fiiiiine! Good luck and knock their socks off!
Dear Crabby,
Um, I know this will sound bad, but is there such a thing as being too cute? I hear it from people all the time - "You're sooo cute!" "How did you get so cute?" "You're are even cuter than a dog hugging a rainbow!" It gets on my adorable nerves sometimes. What can I do?
Smooches!
-Cutie Pie
Cutie Pie? Let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing LESS cute than someone bragging about how cute they are. So, already you are on your way to being less cute. Congrats! But what ELSE can you do to get people stop calling you "cute"? I don't know. Stop showering. Get a mullet. Buy 30 cats. Develop a nasty habit of talking like Sylvester Stallone. Never stop talking about boogers. Eat bulbs of garlic. Ruin people's jokes. Tell long, boring stories that have no point. Wear ponchos and long men's basketball shorts. Start a Fight Club. ANY of those things would make you markedly less cute. Or, you know, just keep talking about how annoying it is that people think you're sooooo cute. That could work too.
Good questions tonight, team! I think we definitely won this round. Same time next week? Okay! Send your biggest ish (yup, "issue" again) to pharonsquare@gmail.com and I'll work it out for you. Peace out, playas...
Dear Crabby,
So, my OCD is going crazy lately. I've spent hours after work cleaning my house and I end up missing out on hanging out with friends. I'm not like crazy OCD, I'm just wanting my house clean is all. I don't wash my hands a hundred times or tap the light switch 48 times before I can leave the house, but I've just been obsessing about making sure my place is clean and tidy lately. What do think is wrong with me? What's my problem??
Thank you!
-Overly Clean Diva
Dear OCD,
What do I think is wrong with you? Uh, I'm pretty sure you're
Dear Crabby,
I have a huuuuuge presentation coming up at work, and I. Am. Freaked! It's for all the partners and VPs and my bosses, along with a few of my fellow agents. I've never had to do anything like this before, and I'm so nervous that I'm going to mess it up and get fired or something. I'm really prepared with the material, but I'm afraid my nerves will get the best of me. What can I do to stop spazzing and impress my bosses??
Thx!
Presentation Hesitation
What's up, P.H.?
I do NOT envy you, girlfriend. I HATE standing up and speaking in front of people. I freeze up and can't say words. Having said that, there are a few sure fire things you can do to minimize and anxiety you may have. Wear a dark shirt. That'll remove the risk of showing any offending pit stains that could overshadow your genius presentation. Don't cake on the makeup, either. It'll just drip in your eyes and down your cheek and people will think you are melting and start to wonder if you are the Wicked Witch of the West or something. And even if you feel like you've got the material down, jot down some notes with some X-rated doodles in the margins. Then you can get a little laugh if you get lost. And do you think you could maybe get away with lacing some of their waters with tequila? That'd probably help them relax which could be awesome. Other than that, just try and chill and have some confidence in yourself. And remember this: You just have to get through it and then you can go home and cry and drink wine or whatever and it'll be fiiiiine! Good luck and knock their socks off!
Dear Crabby,
Um, I know this will sound bad, but is there such a thing as being too cute? I hear it from people all the time - "You're sooo cute!" "How did you get so cute?" "You're are even cuter than a dog hugging a rainbow!" It gets on my adorable nerves sometimes. What can I do?
Smooches!
-Cutie Pie
Cutie Pie? Let me be the first to tell you that there is nothing LESS cute than someone bragging about how cute they are. So, already you are on your way to being less cute. Congrats! But what ELSE can you do to get people stop calling you "cute"? I don't know. Stop showering. Get a mullet. Buy 30 cats. Develop a nasty habit of talking like Sylvester Stallone. Never stop talking about boogers. Eat bulbs of garlic. Ruin people's jokes. Tell long, boring stories that have no point. Wear ponchos and long men's basketball shorts. Start a Fight Club. ANY of those things would make you markedly less cute. Or, you know, just keep talking about how annoying it is that people think you're sooooo cute. That could work too.
Good questions tonight, team! I think we definitely won this round. Same time next week? Okay! Send your biggest ish (yup, "issue" again) to pharonsquare@gmail.com and I'll work it out for you. Peace out, playas...
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Preeeeetty Sure Casey Anthony Is Actually Guilty
Dudes? This Casey Anthony verdict today was totally whack. I’ll admit right off the bat that I didn’t really invest myself too heavily in the case. It turned into more of a story for TMZ than a heartbreaking culmination of an innocent child being murdered. Too many “expert opinions” on seemingly unimportant details flooded my news feed and saturated the interwebs. Luckily, it was not me - or ANY of us for that matter - who was on the jury and had to be responsible for determining the fate of a person. Personally, I would have convicted her just because she didn’t cry enough for my liking, or she always looked like she never showered and wore, on more than one occasion, a scrunchie. What can I say? I’m fickle like that.
The fact is that it became an entertainment show rather than an incredibly tragic event with still no conclusion. Now, I’m usually all for the sensationalizing of important topics that go over my head. Sometimes it’s easier for me to understand something like, oh I don’t know, insider trading when Martha Stewart ends up in solitary because of it. Then everyone’s talking about it, defining it, putting in perspective, explaining why it’s bad. And then I can be all “Oh yes, I have an opinion on that” at parties. Am I the only one who gets their tips on the stock market from People magazine?
But in this case, it became some crazy frenzy. All this Casey Anthony trial did, for me at least, was show just how unjust the legal system can feel. On the one hand, I know several undesirable people who have gotten away with something they shouldn’t have. But on the other hand, we’ve probably all known a truly good person who gets trapped by the very thing meant to protect us. Maybe it’s because of money (or, more specifically, lack thereof), or past mistakes, or whatever ace the other side has up their sleeves (“Sorry, Pharon, but once in middle school you traded your friend your ice cream sandwich in exchange for her pudding, which just goes to show that you are incapable of assessing value, and therefore, we cannot justify a financial settlement in your case against Angelina Jolie for ruining your life with her banal movies.”) It just seems so backwards that something as important as a LAW can be stretched and pulled and contorted and manipulated so much. And the winner is sometimes just the person with the best lawyer, whether they are right or wrong.
Listen, I’m not going to go all lecture-y on you guys. But I remember learning this quote from, um, I think it was a documentary I saw on BBC once. “The law is reason free from passion”Fact: Fine, I learned this quote from Legally Blonde which doesn’t make it any less true. But then our whole mentality about our justice system is so wrought with drama and passion and sensationalism and impulse and personal convention that we can’t decipher where our own aspirations and beliefs end and the true nature of the law begins.
I hate that a system that is designed to be, by definition, just and fair can feel so totally bunk. I hate that people sue companies or people just to win acclaim or money or a lifetime supply of McDonald‘s coffee. I hate that people can manipulate the whole institution just for some free press. It makes it a joke. It makes it a weapon instead of a tool. And now with the media’s involvement, ANY legal battle can get a catchy nickname and it’s own graphic if it‘s a slow enough news day. Any legal nightmare can be exploited into journalistic catnip. How is that fair?
Personally, I think this Casey Anthony chick is guilty, and not just of a bad sense of style. Truth be told, it sounded pretty black and white to me. But thankfully I’m not the one who had to do the judging. It’s just such a shame that the truth, whatever it is, was buried under legalese, lies, and the giant load of mundane “details” that served no purpose other than to obscure the facts. Top all that with the media working the public into a hot mess of judicial indulgence and you've got yourself another O.J. Simpson case all over again. Thanks, but no thanks.
Also? Now all the news channels are going to go back to focusing on political mudslinging and miracle drugs and "the 5 things that can kill you in your refrigerator". And that's just cruel and unusual punishment.
The fact is that it became an entertainment show rather than an incredibly tragic event with still no conclusion. Now, I’m usually all for the sensationalizing of important topics that go over my head. Sometimes it’s easier for me to understand something like, oh I don’t know, insider trading when Martha Stewart ends up in solitary because of it. Then everyone’s talking about it, defining it, putting in perspective, explaining why it’s bad. And then I can be all “Oh yes, I have an opinion on that” at parties. Am I the only one who gets their tips on the stock market from People magazine?
But in this case, it became some crazy frenzy. All this Casey Anthony trial did, for me at least, was show just how unjust the legal system can feel. On the one hand, I know several undesirable people who have gotten away with something they shouldn’t have. But on the other hand, we’ve probably all known a truly good person who gets trapped by the very thing meant to protect us. Maybe it’s because of money (or, more specifically, lack thereof), or past mistakes, or whatever ace the other side has up their sleeves (“Sorry, Pharon, but once in middle school you traded your friend your ice cream sandwich in exchange for her pudding, which just goes to show that you are incapable of assessing value, and therefore, we cannot justify a financial settlement in your case against Angelina Jolie for ruining your life with her banal movies.”) It just seems so backwards that something as important as a LAW can be stretched and pulled and contorted and manipulated so much. And the winner is sometimes just the person with the best lawyer, whether they are right or wrong.
Listen, I’m not going to go all lecture-y on you guys. But I remember learning this quote from, um, I think it was a documentary I saw on BBC once. “The law is reason free from passion”
I hate that a system that is designed to be, by definition, just and fair can feel so totally bunk. I hate that people sue companies or people just to win acclaim or money or a lifetime supply of McDonald‘s coffee. I hate that people can manipulate the whole institution just for some free press. It makes it a joke. It makes it a weapon instead of a tool. And now with the media’s involvement, ANY legal battle can get a catchy nickname and it’s own graphic if it‘s a slow enough news day. Any legal nightmare can be exploited into journalistic catnip. How is that fair?
Personally, I think this Casey Anthony chick is guilty, and not just of a bad sense of style. Truth be told, it sounded pretty black and white to me. But thankfully I’m not the one who had to do the judging. It’s just such a shame that the truth, whatever it is, was buried under legalese, lies, and the giant load of mundane “details” that served no purpose other than to obscure the facts. Top all that with the media working the public into a hot mess of judicial indulgence and you've got yourself another O.J. Simpson case all over again. Thanks, but no thanks.
Also? Now all the news channels are going to go back to focusing on political mudslinging and miracle drugs and "the 5 things that can kill you in your refrigerator". And that's just cruel and unusual punishment.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Yay! Freedom!
Hey guys, so here's the problem. This weekend, parts of Minnesota were pretty beat up after this ginormous freak storm hit. Even though my parents cabin was relatively unscathed, we were a few miles away from Faith's Lodge. It's an incredible place that helps parents who have lost a child get away to cope and share their experiences with others. Anyway, Faith's Lodge got hit pretty hard by the storm. All the incredible scenery and nature around the lodge was ripped up, trees were blown down everywhere, and parts were virtually destroyed. If you guys could take a minute and consider making a donation to the lodge to help with the repair efforts, I know it would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, it's the 4th of July. I'm sitting on my porch, anxiously awaiting the fireworks in the distance to start. My friend Nick and I are still not sure if we'll be able to see them from where we are, so technically, they could have already happened, but we wouldn't know it. As it is, though, we've just decided that they haven't started yet.
I had a crazy fun weekend. I spent it at my parents cabin with the whole family. Lots of fun. Lots of fishing. Lots of sun. My face looks like a ripe ol' lobster. Success! One of the greatest parts of the weekend though, was my brothers' fireworks show. We were in Wisconsin, where fireworks are legit. So my brother Peter bought some, and he and Perek set them off from the pontoon in the middle of the lake. AWESOME! It was great. They really do a sick job planning their fireworks shows.
Fireworks are my favorite part of the 4th. They're all loud and glittery and awesome. Plus, they are one of the few spectacles that can make me shut up and pay attention.
So...there are lots of booms happening right now. Nick is convinced that these aren't the real fireworks, but I'm convinced we've all but missed the big show. In a crazy fit of fireworks-envy, we headed out down the block to the lake to see if we can see fireworks from there.
Double success. We finally saw some really cool fireworks, and all is right in America right now. We sang "Proud to Be An American" with our neighbors (pretty sure they were pretty drunk) and some guy skateboarded by in an American flag. w00t!
Happy Independence Day, everyone! I hope you all saw fireworks tonight!!
Anyway, it's the 4th of July. I'm sitting on my porch, anxiously awaiting the fireworks in the distance to start. My friend Nick and I are still not sure if we'll be able to see them from where we are, so technically, they could have already happened, but we wouldn't know it. As it is, though, we've just decided that they haven't started yet.
I had a crazy fun weekend. I spent it at my parents cabin with the whole family. Lots of fun. Lots of fishing. Lots of sun. My face looks like a ripe ol' lobster. Success! One of the greatest parts of the weekend though, was my brothers' fireworks show. We were in Wisconsin, where fireworks are legit. So my brother Peter bought some, and he and Perek set them off from the pontoon in the middle of the lake. AWESOME! It was great. They really do a sick job planning their fireworks shows.
Fireworks are my favorite part of the 4th. They're all loud and glittery and awesome. Plus, they are one of the few spectacles that can make me shut up and pay attention.
So...there are lots of booms happening right now. Nick is convinced that these aren't the real fireworks, but I'm convinced we've all but missed the big show. In a crazy fit of fireworks-envy, we headed out down the block to the lake to see if we can see fireworks from there.
Double success. We finally saw some really cool fireworks, and all is right in America right now. We sang "Proud to Be An American" with our neighbors (pretty sure they were pretty drunk) and some guy skateboarded by in an American flag. w00t!
Happy Independence Day, everyone! I hope you all saw fireworks tonight!!
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