Hey Pharon!

Well hello there, friends! How was your Christmas? Mine was wonderful. Relaxing, fun, family-filled, blah blah blah. It was great. Now, of course there were blog-worthy things that probably happened, but I had a week off of work, so blogging was the furthest thing from my mind. Oh and also, my computer wouldn't turn on and I was too lazy to figure out why. (Turns out, my laptop -- which needs to be plugged in to work -- was unplugged, but the plug was under the couch. I was way too busy laying on said couch to look around and figure that out.)

But, new year, new Pharon! I have made several resolutions that include losing the 100 pounds I've gained since locking down a husband, learning how to not burn eggs and saving money for a new computer by stealing from Geo's wallet. And yes, blogging more is also on that list.

Now, as anxious as I am to start doing unpleasant adult-like things, I feel like I've got some loose ends to tie up. As we all know, 2013 was a big year for Little Miss Wonderful (ME!) and there were lots of things that happened. I got married, challenged social and gender misconceptions, bought a leather skirt, moved and stared fear in the face because of a scary neighbor.

I've gotten a lot of questions in real life that I feel like I've failed to address and over-discuss on my blog. And before the end of the year, I feel like just dumping it all on you so I can start blogging next year and not have to stop to explain why I have dreamed up an imaginary friend named Lucy Treadwell.

1) Hey Pharon, how's Rochester?: Well, Rochester is okay. I miss meeting friends out for a trip to the mall or the gym or the bar with less than a 2-week advance notice, but it's growing on me. Geo has been awesome and we laugh all the time and he makes me do fun stuff. I love my house a LOT because it's big and there are no mice and we have a garage and not once has anything prompted me to build a home-made security gate. So it's bittersweet. And until the ice/winter came, I could go home whenever I wanted, but now? Not so much. So...I'm adjusting.

2) Hey Pharon, how's that video game you were obsessed with going?: Yes, I played WAY TOO MUCH Grand Theft Auto V for quite a long stretch there. But I stopped. Not because I wanted to, but because Geo moved the Xbox down to the man cave and that room bums me out. So, I haven't played it in months.

3) Hey Pharon, what's the best part about being married?: So far, it's been pretty awesome to spend time with my favorite person in the world every single day. It's taken some getting-used-to, but I really like having Geo around to help me with stuff and lean on. Also, I have gone for like 5 days without showering more than once and there's not a damn thing he can do about it. He HAS to love me. It's the LAW.

4) Hey Pharon, are you still going to the gym?: The short answer here is technically. I miss my old gym A LOT and don't like all the spandex-y women at my new gym, so I have largely been avoiding it. But I'm going. Well, I've GONE. And I will be going more in 2014, I promise. I have to. I'm in two weddings in the first half of 2014 and don't want anyone to mistake me for being pregnant and then judging me when I get drunk and lift my bridesmaid dress over my head on the dancefloor.

5) Hey Pharon, how come you haven't written a blog in so long?: I know, I know. It's been bad for awhile now. I just kind of do the same thing EVERY NIGHT so rather than bore people with another story about how much I love TV, I keep my computer under the couch. But, as I have done about 5 or 6 times in the past year, I promise I'm working on it and will try to be better at enriching your lives with loveliness and hilarity and a willing butt-of-a-joke.

6) Hey Pharon, do you miss your friends at home?: Of course I do, dum dums. I miss seeing my friends faces whenever I want and chatting with them about this and that. I even missed them so much one night that I dreamed up this fun chick named Lucy Treadwell. She's pretty cool. Yeah, she's a little too chatty and BOY can she put away a bottle of wine, but she's a great imaginary friend.

Okay, so are we good here? Did I answer your burning questions you've had lately? I hope so because now I can go into 2014 with all my cards on the table and everyone in the loop. But if I've missed anything, slap your need-to-know question in the Comments and I'll do my best to answer them. And while we're talking about the Comments section, why don't you go ahead and type in YOUR New Year's resolutions so I know what I'm up against this year....