Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Book your tickets today!

Today was a pretty great day in Minneapolis. I had a big, fun work outing at the zoo AND it was my dad's birthday and my family all got together for an impromptu party! Fun, right?!

Too bad I missed all of it because of the @#$*% weather that made the 100-mile drive seem like a trip to the moon: Overly complicated and needlessly dangerous. I woke up this morning at the crack of 5:30 a.m. to head in to the cities only to learn that the ice, snow, wind and cold had already decided I wouldn't be going anywhere. What a bunch of bitches.

I was stranded.
Looking for an affordable chance to get away from it all? Pack your bags and head out to exotic Rochester!

Come and feel like your worries (and friends and family members) are a million miles away when you nestle in to the comfy, quiet, icy tundra that is an isolated town 100 miles away from the nearest Pizza Luce.

Who needs relaxing ocean waves when the vicious wintry winds right outside your door can lull you into a calming hibernation and borderline schizophrenia? And honey? Leave those body image issues at home! The local attire of Rochester natives consists of comfy down parkas and fleece sweatpants.

Want that fruity cocktail in a coconut with an umbrella but without the cost and exhausting 6 minute wait? Say no more! Stroll into your partially-stocked kitchen and pour yourself a tall glass of wine from your very own box! Over and over! Before you know it, you'll feel a million miles away from everything. Because you are!

Enjoy all the isolation of a tropical island, without that annoying sand between your toes! In Rochester, go ahead and dig your feet in to the frigid snow and feel the frozen numbness spread throughout your body. And that's just stepping foot onto the bathroom tile!

Dig in to the local fare, delivered right to your door at your request! In just 1 1/2 hours, the delivery person will show up at your door after trying to navigate the pathetically-plowed streets with a steamy, lukewarm box of pizza that was made in a restaurant just 1 mile away.

If you're not sold already, maybe keep this in mind: a short stay in Rochester can make all your complaints about city traffic and having too many restaurant options disappear in the blink of an eye. And who needs the stress of snow emergencies when you can just never leave your house anyway? That's the comfort and all-inclusive treatment you'll enjoy here in luxurious, tropical Rochester.

Call your travel agent today!

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