NO WIRE HANGERS!

At the risk of sounding crazy, I have to tell you guys something: I think I’m crazy. Today at work, for zero reason at all, I just got overwhelmed with questions and sounds, freaked out and just mentally shut down for a few hours.

Everything and everyone was agitating me. And it’s not even like normal annoying stuff either. For instance, I was really really upset that the air conditioning at work was giving my legs goose bumps because I just shaved this morning. All those seconds of hard work and razor burn for nothing! GOD!

Also, I was wearing pants that were too big, and a shirt that’s a bit too small, which caused major annoyances at my waistline. And whoever made these pants also sewed the stupid buttons and zipper on the wrong side and slightly off-center. Don’t they know anything?

Suddenly my skin felt too small for my body, my fingers wanted to throw up, and it was not out of the question that I would start hurling profanities at the biography of Mister Rogers that sits on my desk.

Why do I get like this? Is it the weather? The long work week I’ve already had? Biology (you know what I mean, ladies…)? Or is this like the first sign of insanity? I AM at the age where all kinds of mental disabilities come to the surface, after all. Is this how schizophrenia starts? There was definitely a moment today when I think I may have heard a voice in my head saying “God, you’re weird.” What if, when I thought I was out to dinner with Geo, I was really by myself? I mean, things definitely calmed down as soon as I got home and started talking to Geo and Sanna. Ohmygod, what if Geo and Sanna are just alternate personalities manifested as roommates?! Surely someone would tell me, though. Right? RIGHT?

I can just see it now. Years from now, people will tell stories like “Well, I knew she was crazy back when she started talking about her ‘roommates‘ all the time, when she really lived alone,” or “Remember the summer of 2010 when she was still pretty normal, but she got super angry at buttons and zippers??” I would hate to end up on E! True Hollywood Story (why I’d be on, I don’t know….) and hear my mom tearfully say something like “She was such a happy girl. And then all of a sudden, she would only wear spandex and she never shaved her legs again.” My dad would hold her hand, and say something like, “Martha, we did the best we could. The girl was just never quite right.”

Then again, maybe it’s stress.