Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I am NOT a good napper. There are days that all I can think of is drifting off for a quick nap, maybe enjoying a short dream, and waking up refreshed. But the reality is this. If I’m tired enough to fall asleep during the day, it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Typically, I’ll nod off on the couch while sitting up, head thrown back, mouth wide open, and snoring. Snoring in a way that can only be described as, well, unladylike. And when I wake up, there’s no content smile, a cat-like stretch and a dewy, glowing face. No. I wake up horribly confused, unaware of what time it is, with mascara smeared down one side of my face and pillow marks denting my cheeks. And I’m cranky.

Apparently, this is nothing new. I asked my mom today if she remembers me being a good napper when I was a baby. First, she laughed pretty hard. Then she said, "No. I don't remember you ever napping. You always got by on minimal sleep." My poor parents. I was the 4th out of 5 kids and never napped? I was never quiet and calm enough to just lay down and give my parents a break? Well, what a treat I must have been...

I feel like a disappointment in a way. I come from a long line of professional nappers. My mom can close her eyes for 10 minutes, wake up immediately, and re-wallpaper a bathroom. My sisters are exactly the same. My dad is like a soldier. His eyes are closed, he may let out a deep snore, but his foot is constantly tapping to the music on the TV. He‘s pretty much existing in two conscious states at once. We have a picture of my older brother sleeping while he‘s standing up when he was an actual soldier in the Army. Seriously. Standing Up. And we’ve got a million pictures of my little brother napping in places like under a bed and on a stair. They're among the elite leaders of the world who just get it. (Smart People Nap)

As I write this, I’m fighting back the yawns. There’s a cool breeze in the room, I’ve got my perfect Nap Blanket (a very light, small, down blanket) across my lap, and the room is just starting to get dark. It’s too early to call it a night, and it’s definitely too late for an hour-long nap. And this might be the sleepiness talking, but I’m pretty sure this is the most exhausting catch-22 in the history of time. Life can be so cruel.

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