Tuesday, April 28, 2015

8 signs you brush your teeth like Britney Spears (You won't believe #4!!!!)

I'll admit it: I'm the biggest sucker for clickbait. I love anything that promises to tell me what character in Game of Thrones I am based on my salad preference, or why people my age love Tetris, or why I've been eating cereal wrong my entire life. It seems so simple and it makes me feel so...informed and understood at the most superficial and mass-appeal level. And what blogger doesn't LIVE for tons of clicks and low bounce rates?! I want in on that mojo, mofos.

So I bring you:

8 signs you brush your teeth like Britney Spears (You won't believe #4!!!!)

  1. Halfway through, you shave your head, go nuts and finish the job with an umbrella
  2. You feel like recordings of your bathroom renditions of "Hit Me Baby [One more Time]" should go platinum...and then they do
  3. Brushing requires low-slung jeans and a boa constrictor
  4. You use a Sonicare, but then it fell in the toilet. After a few years, you fished it out, however, and found it works better than ever
  5. While brushing, you decide to make a movie about it that is critically panned by everyone but absolutely loved by PharonSquare
  6. All your teeth are 24 karat because everything you touch turns to gold
  7. Kevin Federline is a horrible, horrible memory that you sometimes think about when you look at yourself in the bathroom mirror
  8. You spend at least a few minutes a day thinking about the 80s, when everything was so much easier and more innocent; when Justin Timberlake was just another kid on Mickey Mouse Club and ALF could have been real

Shout out to Quinn Kitchen Miller as the lucky winner of Blog Mad Libs!!! Well done, girl!

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