Kiss and Make Up

I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions. I’ve half-heartedly made a few, but never really thought about them after January 2nd. This year, though, I started EARLY on the resolutions. I packed up all my gift cards and headed out in search of the tools I’m going to need. This year, I’m going to learn to put on makeup. I bought some nice makeup brushes - ones that do NOT just come free with eyeshadow. I picked up some staples that I’ve apparently been an idiot to live without, including something called “Primer”. I got home and felt like I was about to paint a room. Nevertheless, I think I’m ready to take on the new year with a whole new face.

I don’t know when the bus left for Womanhoodville, but I most certainly missed it. I watched my niece this weekend opening her favorite Christmas present - a makeup kit. She spent hours playing and experimenting with all the colors and putting on layers upon layers of blush. She was enthralled. I need some of that, I think. As it is, I dread having to get dressed up and put on colorful eyeshadow, because I will always, without fail, make it look like I have two black eyes. I’ve got my typical makeup routine down to a science. It takes 4 minutes from lotion to mascara. But, as they say, change can be good.

So, I went out and bought this “primer”, some foundation-y thing, brushes for proper application, and too much money later, I feel like a girl. I showed Geo and his brother my treasures and they were APPALLED that I spent nearly $40 on ONE PRODUCT. How do women buy all this stuff? My new makeup collection is worth more than the food in my house. But, I must admit: I’m finally excited to try some fun makeup things tomorrow. Or Wednesday. Or, well, probably not until New Year’s Eve if I’m being honest.

When I was 16, my parents allowed me to start wearing makeup. My mom took me to Estee Lauder for a private makeup consultation and application lesson. I had concealer, foundation, powder, blush, eye liner, 3 (THREE!) different eye shadow colors, and mascara on. It was a LOT of makeup…especially for a 16 year old. But every day I’d slap all that on my face and head out in public. That was back in the day before makeup felt “light”. So, I imagine that’s about the time I stopped wanting to cake my face with all that goop. One by one, I neglected a product and then another and another until I arrived at my current tool kit of about 3 products.

But that’s the past. My friend Freda is like a total makeup pro. She’s done my makeup for a number of events, like weddings and tailgates and nights out in Iowa City. I know that, after she’s made me up, I can look pretty and feminine. I know my eyes can “pop” and my skin can look flawless. But now I have to learn how to do that myself. I wouldn’t consider myself a “natural beauty”. You know those obnoxious girls who can wake up and look the same, or better, than they did during the day before? I’m not one of those. I wake up with bags under my eyes and little splotchy redness all over my face. I certainly don’t “glow” or look “dewy” or any of that nonsense. No, I am definitely one of the girls who looks better with some makeup.

So, I’m going to really give it a shot and learn how to put on makeup without looking like a hooker. I’m going to learn about “contouring” and “highlighting” and other crap. And I’m going to make it look natural, so everyone thinks that’s just how I look. Like, I came out of the womb with flushed cheeks, purply-pink eyelids, and cherry-stained lips. I’m going to really give it a shot. I’m going to learn how to do my own makeup and I’m going to learn how to do it well. I’m one step closer to being good at being a girl. It would seem that 2011 will look a lot better than 2010. Or, at least, I will look better.