Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Judgey McJudgerson Learns Her Lesson

I'm not feeling Dear Crabby tonight. Plus, the mail bag is lookin' a little slim these days. What gives, yo? Bring back the fun, guys! Dear Crabby only works if something about you DOESN'T work. Next week, I want some juicy questions! Email them to pharonsquare@gmail.com and we'll get back on track.

Moving on...I got seriously HOOKED on a few songs today. After violently opposing the odd-voiced charms of one Lana Del Ray, I decided to give her another shot. I ended up listening to one song, Radio, over and over on repeat. Then I bought the album. Then I felt bad for writing her weird sound off so quickly. Then I made a list of other things I hated before discovering that I loved them. Consider this my amends.

  • Geo - It's no secret that I hated him before I went all gaga over him and ultimately agreed to spend the rest of my life with him.
  • Beer - I was once quote as saying, "Ew. Beer is disgusting. It smells like someone farted in a can and sealed it up with moldy water. I will never drink it willingly." Now, I am known to enjoy several PBR tall boys in one sitting. Willingly.
  • Girls - I, for the most part, dislike girls when I meet them. I can't trust 'em so I write them off immediately. I did it with my friend Valerie and several others who I still haven't admitted it to. Let's put it this way: Had I never given girls a second chance, I'd have exactly three female companions. My mom and my sisters.
  • iPhones - I vowed, at one point, never to be a "sheep" and have an iPhone. In protest, I got a Blackberry and tried to play it off like it was awesome. Reality checked in, though, and I realized my Blackberry was crap. I got an iPhone and never looked back.
  • Sushi - I thought everyone who loved sushi was pretentious. Well, they are. But turns out sushi rolls are yummy.
  • Hunger Games - Yes, I gave Geo loads of crap for liking these books. I hated on it and ridiculed him at every opportunity. On the day I decided to buy the first one - it was $5 on kindle! - Geo laughed at and ridiculed me when I was skipping meals to keep reading.
  • Marriage - I thought happy couples were idiots for getting married and messing up a good thing. So far, though, I like what I'm seeing pre-wedding, so this remains to be either confirmed or denied...
  • Golf - I always thought it was boring and lame and stupid. Then I drove a golf cart and hid PBR tall boys in my golf bag. It's a whole new game now, and I dig it.
  • Beef - As a kid, I hated beef. Burgers, Hamburger Helper, steak...I passed on all of it in favor of butter noodles and PB&J. Now, it's not a good day without some good ol' red meat. In most cases, the redder, the better.
  • Family Guy - I admit it. I HAAAATED this show before it was cancelled. I was, in fact, GLAD it was cancelled. Can people understand the baby or not?! And why does he have a British accent?! But then something clicked and now I quote it on a daily basis.
  • The suburbs - I used to live and work in downtown Minneapolis. I now work way out in the 'burbs and love it. Not only that, but Claire ALMOST lives in the 'burbs and I think I've found an apartment I love that is fewer than 10 blocks away from her. 

So, it turns out, I know NOTHING about ANYTHING. I need, like, 5 times as long to accept something as other people do. Another thing I hated? BLOGGING. Well, we all know how that one turned out...

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